Tâm sự

Choosing between career and love

My girlfriend and I just broke up after three years of close love and two months of long distance love. I went to study abroad, she was in Vietnam.

When they were students, the two of them confided and sometimes quarreled because of my study abroad, but she still accepted to wait for me for a year (I studied for a master’s degree abroad for a year) even though she didn’t want to. I moved two months ago when she started to worry about our future. I want to get married soon, don’t like to wait. I’m research-oriented, so if it’s just a master’s degree, it’s not enough, I need to study a doctorate.

I proposed next year that the two of you would get married but have no children, wait for me to study for three years for a doctorate, and you should work in Vietnam, and then give birth. During the time I go to school, you can come and play with me, or if you want, we will go abroad for three years together. I disagree, saying I don’t like going abroad, getting married is having to give birth and waiting four years is too long. You also don’t want to have a baby at 27, now you’re 24, I’m 25. My family also thinks like that, so I want to break up.

Was it selfish of me to want my girlfriend to wait for me for so long? Everyone in my family advised me to have a career first, at least finish my PhD with a research career. I also plan to finish my master’s degree and then return to Vietnam to take care of having a baby with my girlfriend, work for a while until the child is 5-6 years old and then move on as you want. Then I thought that having a child but leaving my child away from my parents was also miserable, and interrupted my studies.

Has anyone experienced the same thing, please advise. Is there a way to deal with this other than breaking up? Before falling in love for three years, promising to wait for each other, but I’ve only been gone for two months and broke up, so I’m so disappointed.


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