I’m miserable because of my stepmother, but my biological mother doesn’t accept me

I was an unhappy child since childhood, just two months after being born, my mother left because I could not stand the harshness of my grandmother and the brute force and patriarchy of my father.

After six months, my mother left, my father had a boyfriend and had a child of my own, so he followed his new wife’s hometown, leaving me and my sister for my grandmother. The reason why my mother did not bring any children was because my father beat me to the point of nervousness and confusion, so I had to run back to my grandmother’s hometown to take refuge. When my mind was stable, because of hatred, my mother left me and my sisters and went to a foreign country to live in the South.

I drink rice water instead of milk, nutrition is a pot of bean porridge with some crabs and snails my grandmother found while working in the fields. Every day I followed her to harvest rice and plant potatoes, while she worked, I sat and slept by the field from early morning to late evening, for six years like that. That was also the most beautiful time in my memory, because at that time I didn’t know love, didn’t know hate, didn’t know hate and nobody bullied me.

When I was six years old, my father took my stepmother and two younger brothers to live together, the darkest years of my life also began from there. My father was extremely patriarchal, had the idea of ​​respecting men and despised women, and my stepmother had a son to follow, so she tried to oppress others. The housework and the joint project are all pushed to my two sisters; and good food, beautiful clothes, my two sisters enjoy. She was always looking for ways to make my sisters drop out of school, but I was bright and eager to learn, so I was determined not to quit; My sister couldn’t stand it, so she dropped out of school in the ninth grade. I can’t count the number of times I have been beaten and scolded for no reason, but I remember twice intending to hang my shirt on the roof of the barn to do something foolish. Fortunately, the moment I wanted to end my life, there were some objective reasons why I couldn’t.

The day I received the university admission notice, I hid behind a pile of straw and sobbed, both happy and worried, afraid of not being able to go to school. On the day of leaving, my stepmother glared at me with sharp eyes for selling her two bags of rice in exchange for money for a car, with a sarcastic statement to the neighbors: “What he learns, he must go there and learn his husband”, meaning to say I will follow the boy and drop out of school. Sitting in the car looking into the distance, my mind still resounds with my father’s words: “Nhat men write friendship, ten women write in”. From that moment on, I was forced to be strong and determined to succeed.

After 11 years of studying and working abroad, I was the most successful of the four sisters, accumulated enough to buy a small piece of land, paid for an apartment in installments, and had a stable job to help my sister a little. However, the obsession of childhood made me not dare to open my heart to anyone and have a very one-sided view of marriage and mother-in-law. What bothers me is how to face my real family, let go of grudges and open my heart to my loved ones who have oppressed me in the past. If I can’t do it, is it unkind, unjust, or unfilial?

To my grandmother: Although she treated my mother harshly, she loved me very much and always protected and defended me when I was beaten by my stepmother and tricked me into giving money to go to school. I love her with the love of my niece and nephew, but deep down in my heart I hate her because she made me orphaned my mother.

To my stepmother and two half-siblings: To be frank, I don’t have any feelings for them because of the way they treated me, even hating my stepmother; However, the piece of rice I ate as a child still had her efforts. I’ve also been away from them for seven years now. Am I being unkind or unjust when I don’t pay filial piety or help them?

To my father: I realized that I really expected love from him, even though every time we talked, he only asked about my money. There is something that makes me happy to talk to him. He wanted me to send money back to repair the house, buy this and that, but put the money he made to send to the son he adored even though he had graduated from school four years ago.

On the side of biological mother: My sisters and I have returned to their mother’s hometown since they were aware. We went to play with uncles and aunts, grandparents, every time when we came back, my mother told me to buy clothes and give money but never came back to meet. The most ironic thing is that I live in the same city in the South with her, have found the address of the house but dare not knock on the door to disturb. When it’s empty and lonely, I drive to that alley, watching her from afar; sometimes I see it, sometimes I’m not just happy in my heart. I still don’t know the reason why my mother refuses to meet her children even though she is single and has no children of her own. Should I force her to adopt the child?


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