My whole family is upset because of my brother

My parents are poor but hard-working and thrifty, so my brother and I enjoyed a fairly full childhood compared to our peers.

We have never made our parents proud by having excellent achievements, entering top universities, and having prestigious careers, but my brother and I are considered gentle, peaceful, and obedient to our parents. , do not play and compete. Up to now, the thing that bothers my parents the most is my 30-year-old brother. He used to be gentle, but he became more and more weak.

He did not study well, never got a university degree. His parents and acquaintances applied for jobs to help him get into banking, real estate, and hotels, but his qualifications were poor, so he could only work as debt collectors and housekeeping. He worked for a while and then he was fired, his salary was lowered or he got bored and asked for a leave. He studied Japanese to study abroad but couldn’t pass the N5 exam, his parents let him study at an English boarding school in the Philippines for a year to work in a hotel, but he couldn’t take 6.0 IELTS, so he couldn’t get a job.

Our parents have never asked for anything high from us. I am just an ordinary office worker with a living wage, making a small contribution each month to my parents. My parents said that I don’t need him to give me money, as long as I can earn money to take care of myself. He never applied for a job by himself, when he went to work, he only got 5-6 million dong in salary, didn’t have to pay for living expenses, and he didn’t have any savings. He never contributed or bought anything for his parents. I am your sister and have never received a gift from you.

He couldn’t get a job in Hanoi, so his parents sent him to Vung Tau to study and work as a hotel for my uncle. Earlier this year, his parents said they would buy a hotel for him to run his own business. When his parents told him to sell the house, his face was expressionless, even though the house was taken care of by my father day and night from buying and selling to looking after the construction, my mother was very sad and sorry. Selling the house urgently during the epidemic, so he did not get the desired profit, buying a hotel for him means that his parents have to divide half of the house they are living in and then rent it out for living and backup money. However, he was still absent-minded, emotionless, showing no sadness or worry.

When his father asked him what kind of hotel he wanted, he said he didn’t know how and would hire someone to do it; asked where the money to rent, he could not say. His parents asked him what he had worked and learned in the past year, why he said he couldn’t do it, he just kept silent. He returned to Hanoi to avoid the epidemic this year, his adoptive parents dressed, he did not have to contribute any money, every night and day he stayed in his room listening to music, watching TV, meditating, eating out at mealtimes, what did his parents ask him for? go out. When the epidemic situation was fine, he gathered his friends 3-4 times a week, every morning he went to the gym and had breakfast outside. Sometimes I caught him borrowing money from his mother to go out to eat and hang out with friends.

Half a month ago, he suddenly told his parents that he wanted to get married, his girlfriend is from Hue, a classmate in the Philippines. His parents were initially happy because he thought he and his wife could run a hotel business, but after asking, they were apprehensive. His girlfriend is 27 years old but has never worked. She once studied in Japan, went to the Philippines to study English, planned to go to the US to settle down with relatives, her mother said that if she got married, she would not let her go to the US anymore. Before, she only studied, my parents said it was not suitable, he said he would not marry anyone else.

I’m afraid now that he and his girlfriend like that will be able to do business on their own. Sometimes I think, do you want your parents to take care of you and then raise your wife and children in the future? I dreaded imagining that scene. Dad is more than 60 years old, if you stay like this, your parents will not be able to rest easy, relax and enjoy old age. My parents worked hard all their lives, saved money, never wasted money on personal hobbies, never traveled abroad, didn’t buy a car… In the last five years, after taking a break from business, my parents dared to travel abroad.

Lately, I have been angry and have expressed my annoyance and irritation with him. My parents said that I must love him and sympathize with him because he is poor. I see that he has influenced the lives of his parents, forcing them to take care of everything even though he is 30 years old. Normally in my house, I don’t talk much, communicate less, and I’m cold; He often laughs and jokes, has many friends, is famous in his family for being gentle, easygoing, everyone is easy to talk to. You are mature, healthy, tall, without disabilities, how can you live like that? I studied the symptoms of hikikomori or depression, and found that he did not have such symptoms. Is there any way to help my brother? Thank you very much.

gentle

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