My husband despises my parents

I love my parents when I have a son-in-law like you, tears keep falling. You look down on my family, what do you think of me? My husband and I are no longer happy.

I’m a girl who tries hard in life and is independent. At the age of 18, I struggled to earn money to support my parents during four years of college. I know him, who knows how to worry, care, love me and share the same direction and independence. We work part-time together, trying to contribute more happiness in our youth. Their appointments are just to eat a bowl of noodles at the side of the road for 10 thousand VND, sometimes wishing to go to a luxurious restaurant, and then with our efforts, we also have those experiences.

When I was 24 years old, both graduated from university, went to work and had stable jobs. We decided each other to turn to a new page, a new turning point, which is to build a small family. I kept thinking in my head about life as a bride, confiding in my mother-in-law, taking care of her mother-in-law very carefully because he is an only son and only has two children in his family. When I entered the marriage, everything was foreign to me. A month after marriage, I had a conflict with my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is very difficult, everyone tells me this.

Husband and wife argued, mother-in-law did not know what we were arguing about, but she forced her mouth to say: “If you can’t live here, then go back to your mother’s house to live”, I was dumbfounded. Since then, she said things she didn’t like about me, and wanted me to go out with the neighbors (she often had a habit of chatting from house to house). At that time, I was just pregnant, everything was sad in my heart, trying to endure everything. Husband and wife go to work, mother-in-law stays at home to help cook dinner, sometimes it’s just three boiled eggs, sometimes a few stalks of vegetables are left in the market. I appreciate that she cooks for the couple to eat.

When I needed to avoid eating this or that food during pregnancy, I didn’t eat it, and my mother was angry: “You can eat whatever you want to fit your stomach”. The sadness in me continued, from one conflict to another. She used malicious words against me, going all the way to the village, up and down, telling me this and that, even when my parents came to play on New Year’s Eve, she also sat and criticized her daughter-in-law. She valued her son so much that her husband drove me to work because it was raining or at that time my stomach was already big and she said, “It’s only for extremes”, while my company is not far from her husband’s company. People around me looked at me with unfriendly eyes since then.

Then I gave birth to a baby. The jealousy of my daughter-in-law was expressed by my mother-in-law to the point that I could only cry. When conflicts arise, she always says: “You can do it yourself. You can take care of yourself”. She said this is her house, I have no right to do this and that, even if the pots I cook are dented or whatever, she tells her son. The disdainful sayings of my mother-in-law are too many that I can’t tell forever, I can only try for my husband and children.

When my son was five months old, I had to go back to work and ask my grandmother to take care of him. On the first day, she was angry when my wife and I did not buy her breakfast. She asked someone else to buy it for her, the next time my husband bought it, she said that her mother had sent it to someone else, so her children bought it. I woke up in the morning to worry about my baby and then ran to the market to buy ready-made food so that my grandmother could only take care of me, so I forgot about such things. Then every night I just hang around with my children, like I want to be depressed, maybe work makes me feel all better.

When everything was too much to bear, I hugged my son back to my mother’s house, seeing the sadness on my parents’ faces, this made me very regretful when I told my parents about my suffering during a year of being a bride. . Two months later, I returned when my sister-in-law (his half-sister) encouraged and shared exactly what I was suffering when living with my mother-in-law. Because I wanted my child to have both parents, I had to carry him back to my husband’s house, and my mother-in-law showed more contempt for me. My husband loves and worries about me but despises his wife’s parents. My family is not as rich as anyone else, his house is also quite good (with compensation, he can buy a more spacious house than mine). The words my husband despised my family still hurt my heart.

My family has two sisters, my sister is married and lives with her parents. My husband cursed his brother-in-law for being a parasite, because he had no land, so he went home and lived in a very humiliating way. I can only weep for my parents and myself, having not been loved by my mother-in-law, now my husband looks down on his parents. I take care of my family’s expenses, give my mother-in-law two million dong every month, but the money for my parents, he is annoyed. Every time my husband and I quarrel, he curses at my family.

I wonder why my husband is like this. What if my life is so stuck? Even my friends are gone, I don’t know who to share with, everything just keeps piling up in my heart. I hope you will share it with me.


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