Fathers who often do these 3 actions easily make their children grow up with low self-esteem and incompetence
There are three friends, who is also a father, who met at a party. They talk about family life, some complain that their son is not like his father and feel very disappointed.
first father is a very grumpy person. Whenever he lost his temper, he would often “vent” his anger on his wife and son. His son Lac Lac is often quiet, reserved, poorly educated, always self-deprecating and very shy in front of everyone around him. When he saw the boy’s quiet attitude in front of his friends and colleagues, he got angry and scolded the boy to change him, but it didn’t seem to work.
Second father always uphold the concept of teaching children to “love the whip for the jump”. Every time he made a mistake, Hao Hao’s son was beaten by his father. Hao Hao is also quite shy and shy. At school, Hao Hao didn’t dare to ask the teacher questions he didn’t know, so the boy also became lazy to study. When he learned the reason why he didn’t dare to ask, the boy said that he was afraid of being scolded by the teacher.
Third father and love you very much. For her, raising and caring for her daughter has always been a top priority. However, what he was most worried about was his daughter growing up to be arrogant and complacent. He said that although his daughter’s academic achievement was quite good, she always felt that she was lower than her friends. I am also very passive, rarely dared to express myself for fear of hearing other people’s gossip.
Three fathers with three different personality types, but one thing in common is raising three children with the same personality, namely self-deprecating, shy. In the process of growth and development, the father has a great influence on the formation of the child’s personality later. There is an old saying “like father like son”, there are three types of fathers who easily make their children grow up weak, timid, difficult to do big things:
1. Retaining children from expressing themselves
Parents are afraid that their children will become arrogant and complacent when they achieve something, because they want to be good for them. This can also be understood the psychology of parents. However, there are some parents because of excessive anxiety, which inadvertently suppresses the self-confidence of their children. This habit will eventually make your child feel depressed, dull, afraid in front of many people, even afraid to communicate with people around him.
2. Constantly venting anger on his wife and children
This is the type of father who has the most negative influence on his children. Children grow up in families where fathers are hot-tempered, don’t know how to control themselves, are patriarchal, or “get mad at the fish and cut the chopping board,” taking their anger out on their wives and children will make them angry. shy, shy, even angry, violent tendencies.
This type of man easily makes the father-daughter relationship more distant. Children are easily haunted by their father’s fears, there are even children who tend to be vindictive and shy because they have not done anything wrong but are still scolded.
3. Teach children to only hit and scold
In the process of growth, it is natural for children to make mistakes. At this time, parents need to try to explain their child’s mistakes gently, or punish the child in a reasonable way so that the child realizes his mistake without repeating it. Children who grow up in such an environment will be more confident, the parent-child relationship will be closer.
According to Professor Li Meijin – Professor of Psychology and Deputy Director of the Professional Committee of Legal Psychology of the Chinese Psychological Association, that fathers who raise children by hitting and scolding inadvertently will become emotional abuse of children.
In fact, every father wants to educate his children to be strong, as well as show His majesty so that their children can be afraid and obedient, but sometimes it can backfire.
Professor Li Meijin. Photo: Baidu
Children living in such an environment easily form inferiority complexes, feel useless in the long term, and humble themselves in front of their peers. Even when they grow up, they tend to blame and blame their parents.
In the eyes of every child, as the “pillar” of the family, the father is often a great and great idol for the children to follow. Children grow confident, brave and successful or not, it all depends on the personality of the father in raising the child.
(According to NetEase)
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