An education expert explains why parents often get angry and disparage their children

Recently, the story of a mother posting on a Facebook forum saying that her child was lured by a group of bad people to see sensitive images caused a stir in public opinion. The mother was so angry that she broke her son’s phone and posted it on social media.

Education Specialist, Dr. Vu Viet Anh, Director of Thanh Cong Academy, said that the mother’s actions were a bit regrettable. Instead of breaking the child’s phone, parents can sit back, talk with their child, find out the source of the problem to have a better solution. Although temporary emotions are difficult to control, it also shows that parents need to equip more knowledge and skills to manage emotions in educating children.

The act of “denunciation” of children watching sensitive movies greatly affects the psychology, spirit and life of young children later on.

That raises the question why many parents can’t control themselves, or get angry or lose their temper with their children?

In this regard, expert Vu Viet Anh gave a number of reasons.

Education Specialist, Dr. Vu Viet Anh, Director of Thanh Cong Academy, explains why parents often scold and curse at their children.

Due to lack of understanding by parents

Many parents use every word to scold and insult their children even though they only make a small mistake. It is due to the ignorance of the parents.

They put all the responsibility on the child’s head without knowing that the child’s fault is also partly their own.

Many people think that when they say harsh words or scold them badly, they will feel ashamed and know how to correct them. That is wrong thinking, lack of understanding. When a child has to constantly listen to harsh words from his parents, they will be affected psychologically, making it difficult to develop comprehensively. They always carry in themselves the guilt because they think they are a bad, spoiled, “uneducated” child.

It’s not true that parents insult their children because they don’t love them, but it’s clear that a lack of understanding about children’s upbringing can have unpredictable long-term effects.

Anger at others, anger spreads to children

That’s the “angry fish cut the chopping board” mentality that parents often have. Life pressure makes parents stressed. And even if a child makes a small mistake, parents can also give out harsh scoldings.

Many people also use their children as a “shield” to block their anger towards their partner. Just because you are angry with your husband or wife, who be a parent willing to vent all anger on the child’s head even though the child’s mistake is not worthy of being cursed.

The injustice and lack of tolerance of parents in this case can make children psychologically inhibited and angry.

Powerless in educating children

Another reason why parents often scold their children is their inability to educate. Many parents pamper their children from an early age. When I was bad, they punished me with whips, but I continued to repeat the offense. Many times like that, parents are also helpless and they have no choice but to let out malicious words.

This is the consequence of education without science, not understanding psychology, not being close to children. Indulging or letting go of children from an early age has made teaching difficult and deadlocked.

Repeat what happened in the past with me

It has been shown that there is a link between people who are often spanked and treated unfairly as children and the way they treat others as adults. That means that people in the past who have been scolded and insulted by their parents will also easily become irritable, behave rudely and gruffly with their children.

Sometimes, adults are not aware that they are influenced by the past, so they consider it normal to be rude to their children in the present. And the words scolding children just like that are uttered in a very natural way.

When instilling words like “spoof”, “stupid” in their children’s heads, etc., parents forget that they were once under pressure because of those disparaging sentences. So now, when scolding your child, remember how we used to have “angry” days when others scolded us.

Tu Linh