The 17-year-old young man did “sex” for the first time and the question startled many young people

Ask: I am 17 years old this year, just had a girlfriend, we used to have sex, but I still wonder why the first time ‘little boy’ couldn’t enter ‘little girl’. Please tell me the reason why?

Nguyen V. A(Tay Ho, Hanoi)

Answer:

First of all, I would like to confirm that your situation is the same as that of many other couples in the first sexual relationship. Even many married people still have problems on the first night and not everyone has a perfect wedding night.

There are many causes of difficulty in penetration during sex, coming from both men and women, both from physiological and pathological causes.

The first time having sex, not everyone has complete knowledge about sex, so they may encounter obstacles when starting. The female reproductive organs are structurally different from the male reproductive organs.

Master, Doctor of Orthopedics Pham Minh Ngoc examines and advises patients

If in men, ‘boy’ is relatively easy to identify, in female, ‘little girl’ is relatively difficult to recognize at first. Due to the close position below the urethra, above the anus and not as visible as in the male, there are many funny situations where there are couples who have been married for 2 months and still do not enjoy the full love. because the husband could not determine which is the ‘girl’ and which is the urethra to penetrate.

Therefore, men should learn through information channels and the internet about the position of the vagina to know what is the target to aim for when having sex.

Next is the psychological problem. Many couples, especially in their teens, are not equipped with enough baggage when having sex. Many children have feelings of stealth, low self-esteem, thinking that they are doing something wrong, or worrying about the future of the relationship, worrying about unwanted pregnancy, etc., all of which create invisible pressure on their psyche. , can make the ‘little boy’ prepare for battle, then faint, like going to battle without a weapon.

Despite the stimulation of the other party, the ‘little guy’ did not move at all, so it was impossible to continue the relationship.

Some male friends at the first time are extremely excited, the feeling of being cherished and pampered by their lover makes the desire to increase suddenly, leading to not being able to penetrate the girl, then ejaculate, like not going to the market has run out of money.

After that sublimation moment, the ‘boy’ needs a certain period of time to recover, so it can make the partner feel down because he is not satisfied.

For women, the first time is not necessarily the most pleasurable, but it brings a lot of emotions. The mood before the first “love” makes many women tense, excessive pelvic muscle tension, leading to tight contractions of the girl, making the boy unable to enter no matter how hard he tries.

Or others are hypersensitive, even a small stimulus can cause pain and make it impossible to continue love.

Some girls have a different biological structure, have a thicker hymen than normal people, making it difficult to penetrate. These cases are not uncommon. There are many couples who come to the infertility clinic because they can’t have sex despite being married for 1 year.

After discovering that the hymen was too thick, a small surgery “removed” the hymen so that sex could take place normally.

In fact, the love story is not simple, especially the first time, the more “variable things”, men and women may face many problems that prevent penetration.

It’s not uncommon for teenage sex to go wrong for the first time like yours. Therefore, children need to learn and equip themselves with the most basic knowledge about sexual experience, position of genital organs, and ensure safety when having sex.

If you still can’t fix it, you can go to the sex specialist doctor to hear the most detailed discussion, advice and guidance.

Master, Doctor of Orthopedics Pham Minh Ngoc

Hanoi Hospital of Andrology and Infertility