How to resolve conflicts in marriage?

Two people with different backgrounds and personalities share a house, at this time their bad habits and individual style are revealed. Before that, both of them had the same expectation, then the same disappointment due to the collision and the challenges of life daily. Therefore, conflict is inevitable.

Every marriage has conflicts, the problem is how you deal with them. Conflict can lead to further isolation. You and your fiance must choose how to handle a conflict. Refer to the following suggestions to help you out of unnecessary trouble.

Conflict resolution requires acceptance and adjustment

One reason for conflict in a marriage is antagonism. Usually, two oriented people will marry each other in favor of love. Like each other, love each other and go home together.

But real life takes place with unpredictable complications, so there are things that both cannot “expected”. People discover each other with things that are said to be “terrible”.

After being married for a while (sometimes for a short time), attractiveness declines. You might argue about minor annoyances, like wearing your shoes properly, or about differences in your outlook on life when it comes to finances or parenting.

Two people may realize that their backgrounds and personalities are so far apart that you wonder how and why you chose this person as your husband/wife.

It’s weird, but that’s part of why you get married. Your spouse is ripe to add spice and difference to your life that you didn’t have before. So, if there is a conflict, don’t be discouraged.

It is important to understand these differences, then accept and adjust them. Just as Adam accepted God’s gift of Eve, you must accept God’s gift.

You have been given a perfect marriage mate of your choice from among many previous candidates. Didn’t you choose the best one among them when you accepted the marriage proposal?

Every marriage has conflicts, the problem is how you deal with them (illustration)

Perhaps the biggest adjustment faced in marriage is due to different backgrounds.

One person grew up in the downtown area, another person was born in a small town in the western province… or even one person was born into a family that was both happy and well-off, while another was raised. raised in a family where parents are arguing all the time…

He entered into marriage with a delicate young girl. The girl married a guy who used to have to roll north and south… had a rather sleazy and gallant life…

As such, the two have completely different traditions, habits, and values. The difference becomes apparent over time, even from the moment of moving into the same house. For example, when choosing furniture, the girl chooses pink, pretty and slim things, and he chooses things made of solid, durable mahogany.

Then he asked the question “I don’t understand why you want to buy this kind of thing when it won’t last for a few days and will have to be thrown away. While you choose good stuff, the price is low, we can use it for many years and it will never show any signs of wear and tear.”

The girl protested, “I don’t want to enter the house like that, it’s all brown …”.

And so two people, recently married, with a furniture shopping session, had a conflict. As a result, after a while of resolution, he indulged her to buy according to the preferences of his newlywed wife, but compromised “I agree to buy according to your wishes, but let me choose to buy a washing machine and paint the door color”.

In the end, they also came to a consensus, even though there was a bit of regret in that consensus. But that’s okay, at least they know how to accept, adjust and yield to each other.

Resolving conflicts requires letting go of selfishness

In most couples failure is due to the exaggeration of differences. Everyone has differences, but those differences become “horrific and unacceptable” if exaggerated. It is rooted in the selfish nature in each of us.

Maintaining harmony in a marriage is both easy and difficult. Two people who start married life together and try to follow a selfish, separate path can never hope to achieve marital harmony.

It seems that marriage is the place for each person to best express their “me”. Life repeats its daily activities and if we do not change, the conflict will accumulate more and more until one day, the conflict reaches its peak, how can marriage survive?

The “I” needs to be reexamined if the marriage is to continue. One needs to learn how to adjust the lofty “me”, lowering it to a level that the other side can bear.

Instead of just wanting to be at the top, move to compromise at the bottom. Instead of wanting to be served, now is the time to serve each other. Not only accept but also love your spouse as much as you love yourself.

In short, to defeat conflict, you must give up and give in to the “I”.

Conflict resolution requires forgiveness

No matter how much two people love each other and try to please each other, there will be times when things go wrong. Hurting each other is something no one wants, but sometimes it happens. And the only ultimate salvation for hurt to ease all conflicts: It is forgiveness!

The key to maintaining a meeting marriage Openness, intimacy, and happiness are asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness means letting go of resentment. Altruism is the most important thing one needs to learn in a marriage. Learn for a lifetime. Because that is the only way to a happy and peaceful marriage.

Forgive the bad things in your spouse. Forgive them for the hurt they have caused. Forgive even things that seem impossible, like initially thinking “two different individuals can return to the same house”.

The more tolerant, the more loving, the easier it is to forgive, the happier it is. The sea is great by tolerating hundreds of rivers. The great man thanks to the joy and sorrow of the world. Happy shores thanks to altruism.

According to Education and Times