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My husband thinks I value money more than his parents

I am 36 years old, my husband is the same age. What should I do to live peacefully and take care of my children when my husband sometimes abuses me with alcohol.

We are considered as great children of the country. There are 100 people in our same age group, but few people have graduated from the country’s top universities with high marks and know how to cope with their circumstances to study and defend themselves after graduation. Same outlook on life, same goals, no economic backlash, we try to have things like college friends who have a better launch pad than us. My husband is energetic, devoted and talented. He worked a stable salary, monthly giving his wife money to meet living expenses and paying off debts to buy land to build a house.

But now I like starting a business to get rich.

When starting the business, he asked me to mortgage the house, which was property that the husband and wife had plowed and borrowed for ten years, besides, he did not give me any more money. I protested, making requests such as forcing him to pay bank interest and take care of the family’s expenses. Instead, I take care of living expenses and expenses from the outside, the outside mind is more open, so expenses are usually small. I also ask that after three years, if you don’t pay off your debts, you dissolve your own company, return to work as payroll, pay monthly and pay joint debts. If you continue to dream of being rich, we will divorce.

In fact, at the end of three years, he did not earn much, but he was always proactive in managing bank interest. I saw him trying, the company started to prosper, so I also supported and encouraged my husband more. In the fourth year, my husband paid off all his debts and took the initiative to take care of some of the costs of living with me, at this time I still have to bear more living expenses.

>> My husband dragged my parents and relatives to curse

When my husband started the business, my father became seriously ill, six months later he died. At the same time, my sister had an accident. He has no money, does not help my family finances, is also busy starting a business, so he has almost no time to care, care, and worry too much about the outside world. At that time, I was very sad, a little annoyed at being irresponsible. I also didn’t say anything, thinking he was the son-in-law, having feelings is important, but people can’t be forced to think how.

My father-in-law had an accident, so his health is weak, in recent years, he is hospitalized regularly every month near our house. At the end of work, I would visit him, buy his favorite food and let my kids talk to make him happy. Nor can I compare to the three brothers-in-law in the countryside who can’t ride with my father, thinking that when my father-in-law is being cared for at home, I only come back a few times a day. months, not as close as they did.

However, her husband always took the initiative to take care of all his medical expenses such as hospital fees, medicines, doctors… Then every time he returned to his hometown, he gave money to his parents, quite a lot. The other three brothers gave less, even though they also had a good income, owning the house, car and land given to them by their parents. We were not given land because in the city we had to be independent. In fact, in the past, grandparents promised to give us, but later found out that we could afford it and my husband told me not to take land in the countryside. I’m not greedy, I don’t have any ideas, I just think it’s a little sad.

Recently, his father-in-law tested positive for Covid, so he couldn’t be hospitalized in the city but was treated at home. When I heard that my father was making serious progress, I discussed it with my husband when I returned to my hometown to see how the situation was, and then took him to a hospital in the countryside. That day, after work, I hurriedly bought the instant food he liked while in the hospital and immediately returned with my husband. My husband was mad that when I was in a rush to buy things I didn’t pay attention to my phone, along the way he was more annoyed than necessary.

Finally, when he got home, he asked: “Did you withdraw the money to take back to your parents?” I said no, I only had a few in my wallet, so I rushed back so as not to pull. He blamed me for being irresponsible. I said that the past few weeks, I have seen him give money every time, maybe today also bring money, because I know that my husband also buys oxygen cylinders here to take home. I always thought that my husband was more worried about giving money to his parents than the other three brothers combined, so I didn’t have to worry about that anymore. My husband also doesn’t give me money every month, but only actively pays for electricity, buys eggs and milk for my children. I think it’s only natural that I only care, ask questions, buy food and drinks for my husband’s parents.

My husband insulted and insulted me because I valued money more than his parents. Even a few days later he deliberately drank alcohol, borrowed alcohol and cursed all night and wouldn’t allow me to speak anymore. The neighbors all laughed, thinking that I was stupid to let my husband insult me. Some people guessed what I did wrong to have to endure him like that. In fact, his children are sleeping, and living with him for as long as I know his personality is very patriarchal and domineering. When he is drunk, he is easily rude, I protested and just added fuel to the fire, let him finish his work, the next day there was no more alcohol, so I will have a chance to talk.

In the past, when the economy was tough, sometimes husband and wife would fight over small things. Now that the debt is gone, the kids are all grown up, but he still has the mindset to make me take care of the economy and do whatever he wants. I know that if I’m wrong that day, give money proactively, according to my husband’s wishes, he will be very satisfied. I will file a complaint against him because I don’t want the future to repeat sleepless nights, sitting in battle, receiving insults and swearing all night long.

My best friend advised me not to report because I couldn’t get anything done, so I had to keep quiet for the sake of peace for my family. Apart from borrowing alcohol for business, her husband is still very loving, worried about his children and doing business. After all, he was worried about paying off his debt. Am I being too selfish when my husband asks for money that I didn’t actively prepare in advance? Am I a daughter-in-law who values ​​money as much as you say?

River

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