Every night I think about negative things

I have signs of major depression. I guess the cause is from childhood, farmers, parents conflict, quarrel with dirty, scary words. My father beat my mother very badly, the family was unhappy, so I cried almost every day. My family did not have a happy moment. My younger brother is taciturn, growing up he has tattoos all over his body, dyed hair blonde, addicted to games and cigarettes. Now I have left the country, owed gambling three times, totaling nearly 200 million dong. I paid you once, not the next time. The gangsters called me to threaten me many times, I sank into unhappiness and depression, many times thinking about foolish things.

I live with my mother-in-law, whatever she does, she criticizes me. I tried to buy cookbooks, learn home care methods, but my mother-in-law didn’t like it. On the eighth of March, I bought a nutritious gift for my mother, she told me that I didn’t know how to buy it, and had a stomach ache when I ate it, while my mother used to eat that kind of food and it was okay. My mother often slanders, sets things up for me, calls her daughter to speak ill of me. Moreover, my sister-in-law also joined in disparaging me, calling me to scold me for not knowing how to shop, relying on my mother even though I explained. I am very depressed.

>> Negative things keep haunting me

My husband knew about my story, he advised his mother, she promised not to disparage me from now on. I also changed my phone sim, used the sim rieng to contact my parents and then turned off the phone every time I finished calling. The gangsters don’t bother me anymore. However, when the night comes, at dawn or alone, the disparaging and inappropriate words of the mother-in-law, the sister-in-law kept ringing in my ears, my tears welled up again, wet the pillow. The more I want to commit suicide.

Two days ago, I contacted a psychologist, they asked the cause of my illness, then said they needed 90 million dong for treatment. The amount of nearly one hundred million dong is too big for me. I know I am my parents’ only hope now, but every night I lose sleep and think negatively, what should I do?

River

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