29 years of father making his daughter want to commit suicide because she has to be on top of everything
23h37p. The clock in front of the operating room’s door slowly ticked by. It’s only been a few minutes, but it feels like an eternity. Dad sat idly on the plastic bench, sweat drenched with his handprints on his canvas pants. Then he burst into tears, his old shoulders shaking, making my heart feel like a rock. Perhaps he never thought that because of him, his wife got sick, and his daughter was prepared suicidal right after your birthday.
I ran back to the emergency room door. The hospital corridor was empty, another shoulder was shaking. Seeing my sister kneeling on the ground sobbing, I both loved and hurt. Why is everything like this? I just want to stop you from committing suicide and wake up selfish Dad’s for the past 20 years. However, the end caused her mother to have a stroke, and she also fell into extreme despair…
From childhood to adulthood, my sister and I were both bookworms who only knew how to study. All because”honorable” of my father, a university lecturer who likes his children to be good. My childhood was all about books, going to school, and taking extra lessons. When I woke up, I had to memorize the lesson. If you are sick and tired, you will be forced to go to school without rest.
Every parent-teacher conference is my mother and child living in fear. If my sisters and I are in first place, it’s okay, if we drop to 2nd place, we’ll get beaten up no matter what. Once when I was in 10th grade, my sister got sick close to the exam day, so she didn’t do well on the test. Her scorecard ranked 4th, so the whole neighborhood heard her crying because her father beat her. Mother used her whole body to intervene, but father blamed her children for poor education.
My sisters and I grew up, but the obsession with the achievement disease of my father never subsided. My sister studied until her nose was bleeding to get into law school as her father requested. As for me, I was almost kicked out when my high school graduation results were not what my father expected.
– I don’t have a useless daughter like this. The father taught many classes of students, the son was ignorant even to the point of 9 and couldn’t get it. How long are you going to humiliate your parents? If you can’t just eat and study, then go out and pick up trash!
My grandparents were also helpless with my father’s stubbornness. In decades, my family has not had a trip at all. My father considers playing as a “waste of time”, a waste of money, and cannot help people live a glorious and successful life. My mother had to quit her job to stay at home to support the children. She loved us very much, and quarreled with her father many times, but as a result, no one in this family could overcome his selfishness.
Every time my sister and I achieved something, my father proudly showed it off everywhere. From going to the competition for excellent students at all levels, winning extracurriculars, speaking contests, passing the university’s runner-up… All of them post online and tell stories tirelessly. My father compared her with the children of the neighbor’s family, always told my sisters not to be inferior to anyone. Even the fun playing badminton of the neighborhood kids, my father also intervened, seeing that I lost to the boy next door, he dragged me back to punish me for not having dinner.
Then came the day my father’s perfectionism collapsed. When my sister was in 2nd year, the pressure was increasing, she confided to her mother that becoming a lawyer was not what she wanted, class essays and a huge amount of knowledge made her exhausted. She has almost no friends, does not know how to take care of herself, does not know what love is.
I discovered the old diary she hid in her backpack. From the day she studied for the university entrance exam, she was extremely stressed because she was afraid of failing. Her childhood dream was to become a doctor, but her father forced her to study law, so she had to give up her desire. She was depressed but no one knew. More than 500 pages of diary full of tears. I can count no less than 30 times when she mentioned the thought of ending her life in all sorts of ways. And most recently, her birthday was 2 weeks ago, her father completely did not remember and scolded her all that day because her final exam score was too low.
“I’m going to end these gloomy days. I hope my mom and sister don’t hate me, I really want to be free. Knowing that suicidal It won’t solve anything, but I won’t go crazy with books and having to become a man or a woman in the future.”
“Today, my father scolded me again for almost missing the scholarship. I gathered up the courage to tell him that if I kept forcing myself to do this, I would commit suicide, but he just dared to have the guts to do it. At 20 years old, I don’t know what to do. know what the outside world is like.”
“The first time I bought sleeping pills to commit suicide, but I can’t leave my mother and sister like this.”
“Dad, if I commit suicide, will you stop imposing and comparing me to the world’s prodigies?”
I brought the diary to my mother immediately because I had a premonition that something bad was going to happen. Everyone’s endurance has a limit, if she really commits suicide, what will happen to my family? As far as I read, my mother fell apart, until the part where she kept talking about leaving the world, she fainted. I shouted to my father, called an ambulance, and my mother had a cerebral infarction that required immediate surgery.
Outside the operating room door, I took out all my resentment on my father. All mistakes are made by the father. I want to run away from home, I want to turn my back on my father, and beg him to let my mother and I live peacefully according to our dreams. Enough…
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