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“The best children are not necessarily the happiest and most successful children”

“The best children are not necessarily the happiest and most successful children” - 1

In recent days, the online community was shocked and shocked by the death of a high school boy named LNNM (16 years old), who fell from the balcony, jumped from the 28th floor to the ground, causing his death.

Before the incident, I left a suicide note. In the letter, he bid farewell to his parents, as well as expressed his stress during this time.

The tragic death of a 16-year-old student shocked the public, especially parents with children at the age of M.

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From the story of a male student in Hanoi, we can easily see the differences in psychology in children teenager

At the age of the most beautiful and pure full moon in his student life, M chose death to end his life rather than living with the dreams and ambitions of youth.

The sentence in the letter “Goodbye. 1/4 always, life is like a joke” as a wake-up call for parents, don’t put the stress of studying, achievement, and grades on your shoulders. Children, turn pressure into wings, not weight, stagnation and sadness.

From M’s story, it is seen that his choice of death was not a spontaneous and impulsive act, but a bitter ending to days of suffering with too much stress.

Reality. Young children enter adolescence (10-19 years) which is an important and new period in life. Since this is a time of many changes, its development is more complicated than the previous stages. Growth and reproductive hormones develop and prepare for puberty.

Children begin to grow rapidly and change physically, psychologically. The autonomic nervous system is developing, children often feel nervous, short of breath… Children are interested in changes in their bodies.

Psychological development of children tends to be independent, will stimulate independence, creativity in learning and activities. Imitation is selective, but the object that the child imitates is still specific and can be identified by character.

At this time, children experience a lot of stress in school and life, so they are vulnerable to depression, anxiety, antisocial behavior disorders, adaptation disorders, schizophrenia, early release.

Therefore, the education of teachers and parents must be very smooth and skilled in the process of communication and behavior with children.

A thoughtful approach to being a child’s best friend at this stage is essential to being able to help your child master and adapt to complex emotional changes.

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So how should parents not put academic pressure on their children?

From the case of a male student in Hanoi, as a wake-up call for parents, parents need to pay special attention to the psychological characteristics of their children, choosing the right educational method rather than being too pressured, regulated and strict.

Give and trust your child’s trust, not being an example

The story of achievement and grades in school is not new. Remember the story at the end of March, parents have to get up early in long queues to wait for their children to register for exams at a prestigious school.

Choose the best study environment for your child and wish him/her to study well – Not anyone’s dream, but it is important that not all parents understand what their child likes and wants.

At high school age, children really know love and hate clearly, know their own dreams and goals. Therefore, parents must truly understand and share their children’s friends, because more than anyone, we ourselves understand how thorny the road to success is.

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Parents must give trust to the child, not hope to turn it into a burden to cling to and become an obsession in the child’s mind.

And whenever a child fails, what they need most sometimes is just a hug, a loving pat on the shoulder “It’s okay, I’m sure you’ll do well next time”.

Always put yourself in the child’s shoes, if the child has not done as expected, understand that he is also sorry and sorry. At this time, the greatest motivation for children is the faith of parents.

Therefore, it is important for parents to give trust to their children, not hope to turn it into an inherent burden and become an obsession in the child’s mind.

Let me live my own life

As education expert Dinh Doan shares, “The best children are not necessarily the most successful and happiest children.” The most important thing in life is to be happy.

If you feel happy, then life is meaningful, valuable and worth every moment. And if children feel happiness from the life they have, surely they will never think stupid or want to let it go.

Parents may send what they want, but let’s give the decision to the child, don’t force the child to live the life we ​​want.

Please guide and accompany children, don’t force them into the mold that we consider the best, the kindest, the happiest.

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Parental encouragement can be a great source of motivation for children to overcome difficulties.

Be careful and alert if your child is having trouble

Pay attention to your child and do not underestimate the psychological manifestations of the child. If your child is experiencing more severe stress, they may need extra help. Depending on the extent, parents may think about taking their child to counseling or finding someone else who can help them talk about what’s bothering their child.

According to the advice of psychologists, finding a balance between work, rest, social life and physical activity is very important. This helps children maintain balance in their lives, ensures they are comfortable and reduces feelings of stress.

Parents should encourage children to eat with their families and talk to them more. This will give the child the opportunity to talk to parents and family members about whatever he or she wants.

In fact, every child only gets to live once in this world, so let them be themselves, innocently living with desires and ambitions, allowed to be wrong, sad, and express their true feelings. Because every child is individual.

Parents raise and care for their children like gardeners. Give your child what he needs, not the best. Let the shoots sprout and grow proudly in the sun, don’t expect to copy or become another version.

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Parental friendship and care also help children develop more smoothly in life.

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