Why is success often accompanied by suffering?

In 2007, a group of American psychologists conducted an experiment on happiness. They asked college students to rate their own feelings on a scale from “unhappy” to “very happy,” and then compared their academic performance and social life (number of friends, time spent in school, etc.). meet, exchange friends) of this group.

The results showed that those who said they were “very happy” had a rich social life, while academic performance in school was worse than those who rated themselves “unhappy” or “normal”. “.

The researchers also examined datasets from another study to gauge how “fun” college freshmen were, then compared the group’s earnings two decades later. They found that the people who said they were happiest in 1976 weren’t the highest earners in 1995.

The researchers came to the conclusion that, like everything in life, happiness has its trade-offs. That is, if you pursue happiness and exclude other goals, it could lead to a life you didn’t expect in the future, a life you didn’t reach your full potential for.

The study above doesn’t deny happiness is good, it just shows that being a little “less happy” is also beneficial. In other words, when we are upset about something, we may struggle to find a way to change or fix the situation for the better. Psychologists call this the “analytic contemplation hypothesis”.

Of course, boredom and unhappiness also bring many negative things. Aversion to sadness, unhappiness… can make us give up a meaningful life. A group of researchers surveyed college students in 2018 and found that the real source of fear, in many cases, focuses on how the person will feel when they fail, not not about the consequences of failure itself.

In fact, bringing good things into one’s own life, whether in work, love or anything else, often involves risks. Taking risks does not necessarily make us happy, it can even bring disappointment. However, it can also offer bigger rewards than a secure, boring life, as the happiness, academic achievement and income research above shows.

The highest achievers at work and school had to make decisions that sometimes made themselves depressed, uncomfortable, and scared, but they overcame it themselves.

Paul Bloom, a psychologist and author of The joys of sufferingwrote: “It is the suffering we choose that offers the best opportunity for joy, meaning, and personal growth”.

Happiness itself will lose its meaning if it is not opposed to the sadness and hardships each of us has to go through.

Carl Jung, a famous Swiss psychologist once said in an interview in 1960: “Even a happy life cannot be without darkness”. Therefore, in life, sometimes we not only appreciate happiness, but also appreciate the values ​​​​that make us challenged and miserable.

Although choosing to suffer should never be anyone’s life goal, each of us can strive for an abundant life in which we not only seek the sunshine but also fully appreciate the the rain fell.

Thuy Linh (According to Atlantic)