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I don’t want to get married even though I’m grateful to you

He and I have known each other for more than six years. He is 42 years old, I am 30 years old. I still love him but the love is not big enough to go to marriage.

He was born in a family that was not well-off, but before that, his relatives went to the US, Germany, and Australia. They sent money to worry about his family, so since childhood he did not think about progress even though he was very smart and good at studying. After graduating from a college of information technology and being unemployed for a long time, he worked as a worker in a processing factory in a small business, earning more than 12 million VND per month. He has no will to progress. I encourage you to study this and that according to your interests and strengths that you do not like.

When he was at school, he was good at English and good at communicating with foreign countries, I suggested that he apply for a job at a foreign company, he was also not confident. If his company has overtime and frequent business trips, the monthly salary will increase to 15-17 million dong, but he often finds an excuse to work eight hours a day. If work missed five o’clock in the afternoon, he was upset. Your department is missing a department head; He’s smart, skillful, he’s good at what he does, but because of this, the company doesn’t trust him to give him that position. He also does not like promotion because he is afraid of responsibility and afraid of a lot of work.

>> After 15 years, my husband still has no will to progress

His personality is calm, slowly but surely, it is better to do things that do not require communication. Your advantage is that you love me very much. He was caring, gentle with me, intelligent, not well spoken but very honest. I am a poor farmer’s son, since childhood, I have studied hard, have the will to progress, work with purpose, not afraid to work overtime or go on a business trip. I work with thinking, know how to arrange and organize, good at diplomacy, bought a house in Saigon, stable job, monthly income of 30 million dong.

Our thinking is opposite, both of us often quarrel from small things in daily life to big things like marriage, house after marriage. Every time he finished arguing, he made up first, but the problem still existed, not completely resolved. He saw me more physically, thinking, so I was a bit self-deprecating. No matter how big or small, he asked me for my opinion, but then he still stood his ground, for six years he hasn’t changed or tried harder.

There were a few times when we broke up because it didn’t fit, I didn’t like being the breadwinner. Then I came back because I still loved him and thought no one loved me like that. Currently, I owe my family 400 million dong, owe him nearly 300 million dong and pay him monthly in advance because of the debt to buy a house.

I am indebted to him, but thinking about getting married and living with someone like that makes me wonder. I have not been able to pay off that 300 million dong debt so as not to torment my conscience, but even after paying, I still feel guilty. I can’t get a bank loan to pay you because of my own problems. He himself was awkward, he did not force the marriage nor agree to take interest, I felt that it was cruel to take advantage of him like that.

Please share with me.


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