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The boy’s happy ending was returned twice by his teacher

HanoiSince birth, baby Quoc Anh has had a hard time sleeping, 18 months old, can’t sit still and can’t walk, can’t cry anywhere in pain, can’t point with his hand.

Her mother, Hoang Thi Hien from Nam Tu Liem district, said that every time she took her son to get a haircut, she had to use all her strength to keep her limbs so that she wouldn’t thrash and cry. Married at the age of 26 and had Quoc Anh a year later, she only instinctively raised and cared for her children without knowing these are quite obvious signs of autism.





Boy Quoc Anh, 12 years old, living in Nam Tu Liem district, Hanoi took a photo with his mother three years ago.  Photo: Character provided.

Boy Quoc Anh, 12 years old, living in Nam Tu Liem district, Hanoi took a photo with his mother four years ago at a peach garden near his home. Photo: Character provided.

When he was two years old, seeing that his son could not speak yet, Hien took him to the hospital. The doctor laid out all sorts of toys and asked, “What is this?” “Where is the red color?, “Do you like that?”… The questions made the boy scared, hug his mother and cry. The doctor concluded: Slow development for his age. Many other hospitals also the same conclusion.

To prove that her child is normal, the mother asked Quoc Anh to go to kindergarten. After 5 days, the principal called Hien up and said directly: “I’m taking my child home for treatment, but I can’t learn”. As it turned out, classmates were afraid of Quoc Anh’s awkward sitting posture, leaning to one side and the other like a boneless person. “Parents reflect that they don’t like Quoc Anh in the same class as their child,” the principal continued. Hien quietly carried the baby home.

Without giving up, the mother scoured the internet for documents and understood that this was autism. She was even more desperate when the first book said that “autism cannot be cured and children cannot lead a normal life”.

But Hien did not give up. At that time, there were no forums on social networks like now to ask questions, so she built her own curriculum to accompany her children.

The mother spends time observing and listening to what her child really needs, and then makes a lesson plan based on the change in the child’s personality and physiology. Hien realized that, with normal children, there are skills that no one told them to know or only mentioned a few times, but with autistic children, maybe a word, an action, must be repeated thousands of times.

In order for her children to speak, she and her husband make a plan to learn to talk with them anytime, anywhere, from the moment they open their eyes to the time they go to sleep. Knowing that Quoc Anh liked fish, her mother went to the market to buy goldfish and put them in a pot, then she pointed out where the fish’s eyes and head were. If she wanted to touch the fish, she had to learn how to name it. For children to learn colors, order, number… she made the cards herself, played music videos and let her dance and sing along. The couple is also closer, cuddling their child more, even though the baby doesn’t interact at all at first.

Every day, his parents take Quoc Anh out to play to practice concentration. The boy was taught about trees, about leaves, about birds flying in the sky. Going to the market will learn about the items that are sold out there. Being close to nature, every day adding a few new words, feeling new, gradually my limbs move more skillfully and flexibly.

“For normal children, the parent’s education is like drawing on a white sheet of paper, but for autistic children, it must be engraved on it,” Hien said. For example, when teaching a child to walk, the couple must use a stick for the child to cling to and then move little by little. Parents model, over and over, watching for small changes to gradually adjust their teaching style. The mother also explains to her child why people cry, why laugh or be surprised, what their face will look like…

Along with perseverance, timely praise, repetition, absolute discipline, changing lesson plans continuously to suit children, Quoc Anh knew how to drink water, shovel rice, brush his hair… the simplest actions.

So diligent, at the age of 4, on the day of Mr. Cong Ong Tao, Quoc Anh suddenly said “Fish”, when he saw his mother preparing to worship on the altar. That moment made Hien shiver, tears welling up.

At the age of four and a half, once, Quoc Anh refused to obey and his mother slapped his butt. That night, he fumbled for the money in the cupboard and cut it off with scissors, filling the house with it. Knowing the story, Hien was poor, told her son “I’m so sad” and went to bed to cry. The next day, coming home from school, Quoc Anh gave his mother a self-painted picture in class, with a slurred voice: “I love you, I promise not to make you sad anymore”.

In grade 1, Quoc Anh was able to study get on well with regular students. In the early days, he just sat and cried. The teacher called her mother to advise her to let her child go home, because she could not follow her friends. “I will stay in class for an extra 30 minutes at the beginning of the class to study with my child,” the mother begged her. After a month, Quoc Anh stopped crying every time his mother got up to go home.

In class, the boy rarely communicated, so he was often teased, almost every day he had scratches on his body. Since then, the class organizes any events, Hien also enthusiastically participates, even spending money to buy candy and toys for her friends. Many times when she had the opportunity to meet children who often beat her son, she shared: “Quoc Anh is also very sad, children, don’t hit, make you sad more”. After intimate talks, the son returned home happily, no longer telling his mother that he was bullied by his friends.





Quoc Anh with his second brother.  Now at the age of 12, he knows how to look after his two sisters to help his mother.  Photo: Character provided.

Quoc Anh with his second brother, 8 years younger. Photo: Character provided.

No more self-harm actions, no anger when not satisfied, now Quoc Anh is more mature, loving and open to everyone. He knows how to help his mother cook, dry clothes, sweep the house, go to the market. The youngest sister, who was only born 5 months ago, is also very attached to him. Every time he helps his mother, the 12-year-old boy whispers: “You grow up fast, I will take you everywhere, just like my parents used to take me.”

In the 12 years of accompanying her son, Hien rarely cries when someone reminds her of her sweaty and tearful journey. Many people ask why she is so strong, because before she was a sensitive girl who easily cried and laughed easily. “For my children, I have to try,” Hien said.

This mother compares, the road she and her husband are walking is like pushing a roller coaster uphill, only by constantly trying, constantly trying can help their children make progress.

“To cross this slope, I have to go slowly, but thanks to that, I find myself more emotional, recognizing many simple and beautiful things around,” the mother said. Now, she finds joy in simple moments like taking her children to the park or reading a book together in a warm bed.

Do not dream that you become a genius or have special powersHien just wants to teach his son enough skills to be able to serve himself later. She believes that every child appearing in the world has a special mission.

“I’ve always believed that if you overcome this mountain, if you keep trying, you will climb another mountain. As long as you have a mother, and you have a child, you will succeed,” the mother said.

Hai Hien

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