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5 harms when controlling children too much

Many parents mistakenly think that being in control is protective of their children, but in reality it has negative effects on mental health.

Protecting children is instinctive, but parents need to draw basic limits. Intentionally invading a child’s privacy can have negative effects, especially on mental health, and aggravate relationships in the family.

Children feel the suffocation, loss of freedom

In theory, controlling behavior of parents with children helps children develop in the right direction, avoid making mistakes, and build a good relationship between the two. But if the limit is exceeded, it will create invisible pressure for the child. Invasion of privacy causes children to lose their independence, become easily dependent and aggravates the relationship between parents and children, when being excessively restrained.

Form the habit of resisting

Raising children to be open, honest people is what parents want. But too tight control, draconian rules can backfire.

A child’s natural response to parenting is to hide and lie. I don’t want to open my heart and express my views to you. In the long run, parents do not understand the psychology of their children, and the opposition and arguments increase.





Children are more likely to experience mental health problems when they are over-controlled.  Illustration: Brightside

Children are more likely to experience mental health problems when they are over-controlled. Illustration: Brightside

Easy to have mental health problems

Ruining your good relationship with your child while being overly controlling isn’t the worst thing. The most negative impact of this behavior is psychological impact, causing anxiety and depression in children. In particular, excessive control easily affects thinking, creating erroneous habits and lifestyle when the child is an adult.

No life experience

Excessive grip prevents children from experiencing life and lacks practical knowledge. Instead, let your child try to make mistakes and learn how to correct them. This is the best way to help children learn lessons from experience and life skills in the process of development.

However, parents should let their children make mistakes to the extent allowed, as long as it does not leave serious consequences.

Losing faith in parents

Parents’ scrutiny, suspicion, and lack of trust make children increasingly separate from their parents. Children do not feel empathy, are disappointed when parents lack trust, easily become taciturn, limit sharing and communication. Repairing such a relationship can be difficult.

To help children gain confidence, develop holistically and increase cohesion, parents should take some actions that show respect for their children’s privacy, such as:

Knock on the door before entering the room.

Do not steal your child’s diary, text messages and belongings.

If you need to pick up items from your child’s bag, backpack, or desk, ask first.

Do not decide and force children to do what parents want. In any case, listen to your child’s opinion

Never eavesdrop on your child’s conversation with friends.

Minh Phuong (According to Brightside)

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