The 2nd style looks GOOD but extremely harmful
An expert working in the field of child psychology once told this story: I still remember last month’s National Day holiday, having a seven-day break that made everyone in the company excited, had the intention of carpooling, I asked a colleague from the same hometown to find out what day she returned to her hometown. .
Suddenly, my colleague forced a smile and said that he did not intend to return to his hometown. Which makes me wonder, having two long holidays at the end of the year, and often no chance to return, doesn’t she miss her parents? Apparently she also saw my question and said it straight: Not every kid wants to go home when they grow up.
In fact, as someone who works in parenting, this situation is not uncommon, and I have received many letters from adults as well. They all have worked or are studying at university, but when “coming home” with their parents, most are protesting and sad, to find out the root cause, the answer must lie in the older generation.
Children who DO NOT GO HOME when they grow up are most likely born into these families:
Family in which parents often quarrel
This is the case with my colleague. She grew up in a family filled with violence and scolding. Parents are always grumpy, war in the family never stops. When she was eight years old, her wish was: “Parents divorce”. It is said that children do not care about the affairs of adults, but as a family member, how can they not be affected? This childhood shadow has accompanied her to this day, even though she is an adult, she will still cry and tremble when she hears her parents arguing.
Psychologically, this girl’s condition belongs to PTSD syndrome, that is, traumatic stress disorder, and the only cure is to be away from family, that is, away from parents. For her own sake, she never took the initiative to go home, even if she did, she wouldn’t stay more than two days.
Families with overly indulgent parents
Unlike PTSD patients, this type of child who refuses to go home is also known as “white-eyed wolves”. That’s because children grow up being raised by their parents like raising eggs, spoiled to the fullest, most of them are egotistical children, when they grow up, they become selfish people. This type of child does not care about the people around him, but is more interested in enjoying life, ready to travel and see the world, rather than going home to his parents.
Families with critical parents
“Before that, I received a letter from a netizen, saying that her parents are very difficult, they always don’t like everything she does. When she was less than 30 years old, she had cancer, the doctor advised her. you should stay away from the “flash point”, otherwise your condition may worsen”.
In psychology, there is an effect called the “overriding effect”. It is a phenomenon in which a person will become extremely hot-tempered or rebellious when stimulated too much, too strongly or for too long a time. The same goes for educating children, when children make mistakes, parents should not criticize their children repeatedly, avoiding repeating the mistakes of their children before. Yelling at your child continuously for a long period of time is like a “spark”, potentially detonating his “emotional bomb”.
At this time, the criticism and education of parents not only will not achieve the desired effect, but will also cause the child to become stressed, giving rise to resistance, disgust… It may even leave a shadow. in the child’s psyche, causing the child’s perception of himself to be distorted.
And if luck grows up to be kind, surely the children will not be interested in returning home.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Kenh14.Vn – Read the original article here
