The journey to find myself at the age of 24
Recently, a former student of Hanoi – Amsterdam High School for the Gifted shared a long article about his own story of having had suicidal thoughts and the journey to overcome that crisis that has attracted great attention. of netizens.
That is Dang Nhat Minh, a former Amsterdam student, class 2010 – 2013, doctoral student at Swinburne University, ARC SEAM (Australia).
The guy shared the post as a way to convey his thoughts and feelings, as well as how to overcome the pressures of life.
Parents’ expectations are too high and the amount of study is beyond their own limits
Contact Nhat Minh, the boy shared that he had a bad idea when he was in high school. He even climbed out of the railing, measured the distance and wrote a suicide note. As a student specializing in the top position of a famous specialized school in Hanoi, who has had to maintain his form for many years, he said the pressure brought on is the high expectations from his family as well as the volume of work. study too big.
“I feel lucky to be studying in Amsterdam, being exposed to an environment full of good people, seeing good people everywhere, not only studying super well but also playing super well, talented everywhere. That makes me feel that I have to be better to be equal to my friends, from which I create pressure for myself.
In addition, my parents also expect to be at the top of the class, which is the common pressure of parents. The two pressures resonating at the same time, causing me to repress very heavily, if I don’t study well but only in the top middle, it’s simple. But I know that my academic ability is higher than the common level, so I have to be in the first position, sometimes down to the second position. But the general mentality is that, if you drop to a certain position, the mentality desire will compel you to regain the top position.
That puts a lot of pressure on me. in an environment like Amsterdam you will come into contact with many good people but at the same time will create a competitive environment. And that’s also the flip side of Amsterdam When I’m surrounded by good people, I can learn from them but at the same time make you think “What should I do to be like them?”. The guy confided
There was a time, “no matter how hard I try, it’s not enough for my parents”
Therefore, many times Nhat Minh has thought of suicide as a way to free himself from the vicious days of studying. The friend shared: “My mother is the manager of a famous private tutoring center with many good teachers from Ams, Pedagogy, General and Luong The Vinh, every week I have 8-10 extra lessons. It’s not enough to be best in class, you have to be best in extra classes, where there are also elite students from selected specialized schools in the capital. Every time I go home, the homework is like a mountain, mainly extra homework, but in class, I always try to finish it during recess.
I have the advantage of doing quick tests, like the final exam in Chemistry at the end of high school, which takes 60 minutes, before even the proctor allows me to write the answer on paper, I’ve done it. Same goes for the university exam, it only takes about 40% of the time to complete… But even if you do it as fast as “god”, you won’t be able to get back to the outline of extra study. Because I not only study one more place in Chemistry but also 2-3 places. Every time I look at my bag, I get frustrated with my miserable life with no way out of my studies, so liberating myself is probably the most beautiful thing.”
Overcoming pressure and journey to better understanding with parents’ love
With the expectation from the familygood luck, guy always directly dare to speak up about their own pressures in studying and taking exams with their parents: “I consider myself a pretty stubborn person, part of me is confident that I’m pretty good at studying, so I don’t mind sharing my views with my parents. This made my mother quite sad because she thought it was an argument, but on the contrary, my father supported my son’s freedom, so I have my own opinion.
If my parents taught me to draw a red flower, I would still draw blue, and I would still get 10 points because the overall picture is still beautiful, so I often do the opposite things with my parents. My parents expected me to major in Math because my Math score was the highest in the class, but I like chemistry so I chose according to my personal opinion. Later, when I was about to take the university entrance exam, my parents expected me to study at the University of Pharmacy as desired, but I still chose the Vietnam – France University. This will gradually become a habit, so parents still respect their decision.
But I’ve always made my point about being chosen like that have to prove to parents that “you are on the right track” and naturally I feel that I need to be more responsible for myself and I want to do the same. I don’t want to blame my parents for my mistakes when I grow up. So I still have to work hard for that.”
The guy also shared that in order to achieve the successes like today, it is not easy for his parents to invest effort in his study friend: “I feel fortunate that a part of my family always creates conditions for comprehensive development since I was a child. My parents have worked hard day and night to earn extra income for me to study at the best center in Hanoi. In that time.
Once upon a time when I joined the Vietnamese Prodigy Club, a place for people with IQ over 180. At that time, the tuition was very expensive, but the price of a lesson was more than 10 USD (more than 230k) but my father still spent time every day, giving up every day. do to take yourself 20 kilometers to carry and take home. Dad also never complained about the tuition fees, but always created conditions for me to have time to learn better thinking skills, from which I could solve Math and Chemistry problems faster.
I feel that at that time, my parents had to do many different jobs to help me contact the best tutoring centers since I was young, I could study more methodically, which led to my higher education later. I know how to approach the problem better and solve the exercises faster.”
However, after Nhat Minh published the article, there were many fanpages and newspapers that did not carefully study the information, causing his parents to receive many criticisms.
He confided: “My father is very proud that his son dared to speak up and share his story frankly. But he is also very sad when some media units do too much, turning him into a dictator. It was my father who bought the computer so that I had the opportunity to relieve stress and play games after school.”
Non-stop learning and journey to becoming a PhD student at Swinburne University (Australia)
With his efforts, Nhat Minh has been rewarded with a series of great achievements both academically and professionally, such as:
– Being a speaker at 2 biggest international conferences on materials industry in Vietnam
– 11 scientific research works
– Junior Researcher at Institute of Materials Science (1.5 years), Laboratories Manager at Center for Advanced Materials Technology Development (1 year).
Nhat Minh confided: “When I went to Ams school, then I went to study abroad, I can honestly express my opinion, even if I and the teacher, there is no barrier at all. Here, me and the teacher can freely exchange views with each other as colleagues, not in a teacher-student relationship like in Vietnam.
It is a very good thing that I am free to express my opinion on all matters. It’s because it’s so comfortable that I get everyone’s feedback as to where I’m wrong. If I don’t have a chance to speak, I don’t know where I went wrong. It is because of the freedom of speech and exchange that I gradually improve myself and everyone cheers for my pursuit, everything is creative.
In the process, I also met many friends with other creative ideas, then we exchanged ideas and gradually had startup ideas, together to realize our own dreams.”
Many parents commented under his post “If I don’t study well, will I be here today?”. Nhat Minh shared: “This is wrong! I think enough is enough. I look at the examples around me and learn enough that they have more success than me. Those are famous professors, senior experts working at NASA, they are not specialized schools, whatever classes you choose.
And I also emphasize that the yardstick for my work is not the one for everyone, because each person has their own dream, you should not impose or give up your dream for others.”
Currently, having almost completed the PhD program at Swinburne, Nhat Minh confided: “I will continue to fulfill my dream, continue to strive and develop because of my own efforts as well as the expectations of my family. In the future, I will practice abroad for a while and will return. return to Vietnam to work to contribute to the country”.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Kenh14.Vn – Read the original article here
