How to give your child freedom within the framework?

Expert Nguyen Pham Khanh Van is a guest of The SACE Journey – Unlocking Gen Z episode 3, broadcast on VnExpress on April 5. With the theme “The fall of parenthood – What does my child teach me”, the guests shared solutions for parents and children to understand, dialogue and accompany each other, especially How to give your child freedom within the framework.

In modern life, many parents ask the question, “If you give children too little freedom, or hold them back too much, will it hinder their children’s development in the future. ability will produce undisciplined, unruly, ungrateful children.” So how much freedom is enough for children?

According to Master Khanh Van, she chose a balanced way like playing on the side, the right side going up and down, so she should find a way to “win – win” for both sides. She also combines both Eastern and Western knowledge in the way of raising children. For example, my child in high school has a girlfriend, I agree that she has the right to go out, but I want to know where she goes, what time, when she comes back, absolutely do not go overnight.

“We can control our children on the basis of caring, talk to them a lot so that they gradually open their hearts, see parents as friends. From there, parents can intervene in their lives. skillfully while I still feel the freedom and comfort,” said the speaker.

In another example, the expert said that whenever faced with a concern or sharing of her child, she would analyze how the child would make the final decision that was right or approximate according to the parents’ wishes, instead of criticizing. impose dogma.

“Currently, my eldest son is 20 years old, studying in Canada, often texting, calling to share and exchange daily life stories, the second son, 15 years old, will take care of cleaning up the dishes after eating. Having someone to help me still have to do, because it’s a life skill, I need to know how to cook, clean, at least to serve myself. I’m satisfied with that,” she shared.

At the first issue of The SACE seminar, Dr. Dao Minh Hong – Deputy Dean of the Faculty of International Relations at the University of Economics and Finance (UEF) also said that parents should let their children freely express their emotions when their children angry let me scream… to relieve stress. “Don’t tell your child to hold back. Being free to express yourself will help you to release yourself. Above all, let your child be himself with all that he has not yet perfected”, Dr. speak

Instead of teaching authoritarian, imposing, too liberal; irresponsible or indulgent; Without limitation and lack of guidance, she believes that parents should learn and update their knowledge and skills to educate in a way that is appropriate to the psychophysiological characteristics of each individual student. This requires parents to spend time because this is not natural.

Agreeing with the views of experts, Dr. Nguyen Tran Phi Yen, program coordinator, said: “Raising a child is a nurturing journey that parents themselves need to strive for every day. Not only do children tell their fathers. parents that parents also need to share with their children so that they can understand and slowly bend their children to the family’s educational philosophy. In particular, let them find joy in what they do.”

According to Dr. Phi Yen, it’s not the IQ, it’s not the grade point average in the class, it’s not the test results, it’s the self-control. Self-control is a virtue that needs to be cultivated throughout adulthood, and only parents, with a lot of patience, discipline, and love, can help their children practice this virtue.

Pearl league