Knowing that a son-in-law betrayed his daughter, how should parents handle it? | Women

Supposedly, there is a general formula: Any parent with a daughter is worried about her child’s “12 wharf daughter”, a lesson they have learned from generations. Therefore, in addition to the knowledge that girls gain, every parent is more or less equipped with “compassion, tolerance, language, and conduct” to prepare their children for life.

The things that parents equip their daughters are not to serve their parents but for the “other side”, with the aim that their daughter has a happy, warm family, loved and respected by her husband’s family.

But if unfortunately the daughter’s family is not happy, the son-in-law has an outside relationship, has a mistress. At this time, how do the parents handle it? Treat it as if you don’t know, ignore it, let your daughter deal with it or roll up your sleeves with her?

Elderly parents only want good things for their children and grandchildren (Illustration image)

When I asked about the situation above a colleague, a single mother with a daughter, she resolutely: “Quit, definitely quit”.

Her marriage broke up with the main reason that her husband was a promiscuous lover. Even after breaking up, he came back to her and begged her to forgive her and she let it go. But he’s sick, the horse is used to the old way. It was not until a few years later that she finally decided on this unfortunate marriage.

She said: “At her daughter’s wedding, she called her two children and frankly said that when the husband and wife decide to live together, they must love each other, the common task is to raise children together, if one day the son-in-laws Someone else, no longer loves her daughter, she supports the divorce plan. It’s been ten years now, her daughter’s family is fine, but she’s still… nervous, nothing is certain in life.

Does my friend worry too much from her experience? I pose a question to you on Facebook: “As a mother-in-law, when you find out that your son-in-law has betrayed your daughter, what will you do? Male friends can also participate in the comments, as insiders and outside”.

The topic becomes “hot” when it receives many comments. One friend started: “I will be quiet, let my daughter handle her own family matter”.

I understand this friend, you equip your daughter with quite thoughtful luggage, you know that your daughter will be sober, know how to ask yourself if she still loves her husband or not and if she forgives, will her life be easy in the future. ?

A friend who is a bit liberal, now lives in the mountains, has a married daughter of his own, said: “I will tell my son-in-law, “You are so stupid, too obvious, too drunk to let your wife know that you’re leaving home”. Then tell your daughter to ignore it, let’s see how the son-in-law handles it, and then move on.”

One friend said: “Depends on the level, the problem is that the son-in-law is aware of what is life and what is the game, it is bad to let outside things affect the family.”

Another male friend said that, often do not interfere in the children’s family, let them solve on their own, parents only have love for their children to lean on when needed. What a mature and experienced father indeed.

In addition to the two opinions, a young girl whose first marriage was unlucky, now living with her second husband very happily, said: “Back then, my mother definitely told me to quit”.

And a friend who became a grandmother was also fierce: “Bring her grandson and daughter back”.

Many “mother-in-law” are very understanding and reasonable when they think that it is necessary to talk to their son-in-law and find out the root of the matter with the desire to heal their child’s marriage. That is:

– Call each child to ask, must listen to both sides. Too helpless, unable to find their common voice, the parents of both sides met to talk. No parent wants their child to have a broken marriage.

– Calmly do not make a big deal, accurately inform the mother-in-law to cooperate, find ways to advise her son. But pay attention to have clear evidence, otherwise the mother-in-law will defend her son, and it will be tiring.

– Talk to your son-in-law privately. There is no need to give evidence to “decisive war” with it, because the evidence is “forced” to easily make the son-in-law no longer have a way to “turn the car”. After that, depending on the attitude of the son-in-law, there is a further solution.

– Ask the son-in-law how his daughter has treated her husband’s family.

– Talk to your son-in-law like your own son gave birth to me. Gain – loss doesn’t matter. If he no longer loves his wife, advise breaking up. On the contrary, parents should forgive and pretend nothing happened. Give your son-in-law time to decide.

When a daughter is not happy, which parent does not feel pain (Artwork)

Each tree, each flower, each house, each scene, there is no universal formula or pattern to deal with when a marriage is on the verge of an abyss because of betrayal by a diverse and complex human psyche.

Each person will have their own solution and need to affirm: the life purpose of modern people is happiness, not suffering.