Mother-in-law’s excessive control makes her daughter-in-law “crazy”
Recently, on the “Advice” column of the Washington Post, a story has been re-published by readers. The story is still related to the not-so-new topic “the relationship between mother-in-law – daughter-in-law”. However, in the case of this woman, there are surprising details that make people say: “In this world anything can happen!”.
The letter was sent to psychologist Carolyn Hax with the content:
“Dear Carolyn! My husband and I are trying to figure out how to ‘deal’ with my mother-in-law, who likes to be in control of everything.
We are both about to turn 25, have been married for 9 months, have stable jobs and live in a rented apartment. We pay our rent on time, consider ourselves great tenants, and are mature, responsible people. However, in the eyes of mother-in-law, we are still just like tiny children who need to be protected all the time.
As proof, if one of my mother-in-law’s “children” (my husband, his sisters and I) don’t respond to her phone messages within an hour or so, she will be “terrified”. father” others to ask where we were and to speculate for themselves that something terrible was going on.
She kept track of our commute and started texting if we got home 10 minutes late. I hate when my mother-in-law suggests that I tell her if I’m going to go shopping after work. She doesn’t need to know where I am 24/7!
Last July 4th, she even called the police because my husband and I didn’t respond to her 6am text messages. We were going to a party at a friend’s house and if we wanted to stay the night, we’d have to ask our mother-in-law!
I know, my mother-in-law went through a huge shock when she lost both her parents in a car accident, but that was over 20 years ago. Time to put it in the past.
Because I resisted the control of my mother-in-law, she accused me of being “cold, domineering and blaming my parents… don’t know how to raise children?!. It is true that my parents were very thick. merit of raising me to be independent, but that’s a good thing, not what she thinks.
My husband was also “crazy” for his mother’s control, but he always felt guilty every time she started crying.
I insist that I cannot live like this for the rest of my life. My mother-in-law may be very loving with her children, but we certainly need to set some boundaries for excessive love. Even my husband supports it.”
Indeed, everyone understands “every tree, every flower, every house, every scene” but with strict management like this, everyone will feel “suffocated”. Below, psychologist Carolyn Hax offers a couple of pieces of advice for the woman and her husband:
“Your mother-in-law is so controlling, so it’s time for you to sit down and talk to her. But first, you and your husband have to be in the same boat, which means both of you have to be concerned. I also recommend that you and your husband connect with a therapist for support and guidance.
Let your mother-in-law know you love and respect her too and try to figure out why she’s always worried, but her level of anxiety is overwhelming and it’s affecting your relationship. with her.
Remind your mother-in-law that you are an adult and that you and your husband always care and share with each other. Tell her you need to set some boundaries and ask her to respect them. She’ll most likely turn you down, but be firm and persistent.”
Source: WP
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Afamily.vn – Read the original article here
