Student age is the most beautiful time in each of us. Yet I made the student age of some of my classmates the most horrible.
When I went to school, I was a small student, studied very well and had a quick mouth, so there were always many female friends in the class or other class around, and the teachers also loved it. At the beginning of 10th grade, I panicked when I found out I was gay. At that time people like me were looked down upon, if anyone acted or gestured a bit effeminately, they would be mocked and ridiculed. Afraid that my relatives, family, and friends would know this secret, so I told myself to thoroughly keep it a secret. I thought of a way, that was to tease and bully other students so that no one in the class would doubt their gender.
There are three boys in my class who transferred in from the 10th grade, their temperaments are gentle, quiet, and rarely communicate. They became the target of my sarcasm. I started calling the three of them gay. At first, my classmates were a bit surprised, but I always yelled at the three of them, so gradually everyone followed. Even during class, we didn’t leave them alone. Many days when we see them hanging out with their family or relatives on the street, we also scream and call them gay in front of the crowd. We used horrible words and words that I dare not write now. I was also surprised that many girls in the class joined in, even using bad words and actions to poke fun at the three of them.
At first, all three of you reacted, sometimes with red eyes and angry faces. We burst out laughing, and of course the one who took the lead and always had the loudest mouth was me. During the 10th grade we did that with them, and the learning power of those three friends decreased significantly. In the first half of the first semester of 11th grade, one of the three of you dropped out of school and we haven’t heard from her since then. A few months later, the second friend transferred to a private school on the outskirts of the city. The third friend still stayed at school and of course suffered more from our bullying than before. You cower in the corner of the classroom, barely talking to anyone.
Then we graduated from high school. To bid farewell to students, everyone held a party, with the participation of some teachers who had taught us for the past three years. My whole class was surprised to see the third friend, the person we bullied the most, attended with a happy mood. None of us believed you would come. Your happy, happy mood only lasted a few minutes before being taunted by us until the end of the party. Later, through many sources of information, I know that the first friend dropped out of school because of many signs of psychological crisis. Your family informed the school and homeroom teacher about your child’s condition, but the matter fell into silence. Then they decided to take her out of school for treatment and support her business development plan. Now you own many businesses around the city, doing well. You are married and have three lovely children.
The second friend transferred to another school because she was too scared of our class. After graduating from high school, you pass the university entrance exam. Now you are the director of a private company, doing very well. You are also married and have three children. The third friend, who suffered the most from our ridicule, has settled abroad. On the day of your senior party you came to say goodbye before your flight, and we didn’t give you a chance to say goodbye. Currently you live with her beautiful native lover, both decided not to have children to enjoy life. All three of them cut off contact with my class. Sometimes I look at social media and know that you guys are very happy, the three of their families often go on a trip together whenever they have the opportunity to visit their hometown.
Our class still meets once a year after the Lunar New Year, mostly just to brag about the luxury trips, designer clothes, new cars and of course not forgetting to continue teasing the three of you. that. We have been doing this for almost 30 years. We seem to take it for granted, no one thinks about the consequences.
I successfully hid my secret, also got married and had a daughter. However, my true personality wants to explode more and more. I’m really scared, worried that one day my daughter will also suffer from your teasing and bullying like I used to do. I am also afraid if my relatives know the secret I have kept for so long, afraid that you will know that I am the one who started teasing three of my classmates.
Now you can criticize, ridicule, I accept. I just hope that the three of you who read this post can apologize to me. Will I have the courage to confess everything the next time we meet after the Lunar New Year next year?
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