Spousal passion can last up to 3 years. After this time, if you do not try to harmonize, it will be a series of days of fatigue.
Recently, on the social networking site Zhihu, China, a woman shared her story.
She and her husband have been married for 20 years, but almost divorced because her husband thought that if he wanted to drink warm water, he only needed to pour it out from the thermos and let it cool. The wife said, drinking water overnight is not good, only drinking water during the day. The two argued fiercely, neither one willing to give in to the other. The daughter heard her parents arguing and ran away from home.
“In a husband and wife relationship, the most fear is that one party forces the other to obey him, expecting the other to become the person he or she wants to be. This is called a dead marriage,” a reader left a comment below. women’s posts.
Arguing over small issues in life will accumulate, enough to cause a marriage to fall apart. Photo: istock
There are actually many pairs couple Divorce just because of a pair of chopsticks. One side has a habit of throwing chopsticks on the table after eating, while the other insists to put them in the sink. Some people parted again because of the location of the living room sofa. The wife wanted to put it close to the wall to save space, the husband insisted on placing it 20cm away from the wall because “online told me so”…. The passion in marriage was burned down bit by bit by arguments. over and over again like this.
In a survey conducted by a family magazine in the UK, in the first three years of marriage, 67% of couples thought small conflicts were cute. But three years later, they cannot accept them again and expand the conflict with endless quarrels.
“Newlyweds compliment each other on average three times a week, but three years later that frequency is reduced to one or nothing. At 36 months after marriage, marital pressure reaches its peak.” specified survey. In other words, the passion between couples can only last up to three years.
Also in the UK, a survey of 2,000 stable married couples came up with 10 little everyday things that can lead to conflict:
1. Weight gain or lack of exercise (13%)
2. Savings (11%)
3. Overtime (10%)
4. Dirty personal hygiene (9%)
5. Taking too much responsibility for the spouse’s relatives (9%)
6. Lack of romance (8%)
7. Alcoholism (7%)
8. Snoring or different sleep duration (6%)
9. sloppy, unfashionable (4%)
10. Trim nails or litter in the bathroom (4%)
As it turned out, what caused the marital enthusiasm to be destroyed was not the irreconcilable contradictions but the little things.
Lawyer James Sexton from the US, author of many books on preserving marriage, likened marriage to a living organism. Insiders have a responsibility not to let anger build up. “I always try to ask couples what to do to stop the raindrops before they become a flood?” Sexton said.
The Chinese writer Yan Ge Tham once talked about marriage mine. She always cares about her image in her husband’s eyes. Before her husband comes home from work, she often puts on careful makeup and changes into beautiful clothes.
“It is also possible that your partner loves you for who you are, but dressing well and maintaining your appearance will make you better in your partner’s eyes – the catalyst for a happy marriage,” she said.
In the book “Intimate Relationships” author Rowland S. Miller has a hypothesis.
Imagine you and your partner sitting at either end of a long table with a half-blue, half-red hat in the center. From your perspective, the hat is red, from the opponent’s point of view, the hat is blue.
You can’t see blue and the other party can’t see red either. If asked to describe what they see, their answers will certainly be different. If both are stubborn with their views, there will be conflicts. In fact, in marriage, there are not necessarily right and wrong people, only those who hold, who let go, who are in harmony or not in harmony.
Married life sometimes appears to have quarrels not knowing who is right and who is wrong, but right and wrong will have no meaning if you want to keep your partner. The important thing is how to be tolerant and hold each other.
American psychologist John Gray, author of the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, said that the mistake of many people is to think that in order to have harmony, the couple must be alike. However, husband and wife are not two friends of the same sex, but two people of the opposite sex—a man and a woman. Those two were never the same.
As long as we understand the different psychological characteristics of each sex, we can hope to find a marriage harmony. Because two people always think and act differently, they have different habits and preferences. The desire for one person to be like the other in order to get along is an illusion. Better to see how they are different to live with that difference. It means knowing how to accept to get along.
Vy Trang (According to sohu)
at Blogtuan.info – Source: vnexpress.net – Read the original article here
