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Secret dating laws in Korea

Recently, the Korean social network of kimchi broke out a debate: “Do you want your lover to split sesame leaves (kkaennip) for a friend of the opposite sex during a meal?”.

Some commented that this was not important, while most found it “unacceptable”.

The controversial issue is one of the “unwritten rules” when dating in Korea.

“I’m quite surprised that the dating culture in this country has specific standards and orders, from meeting to becoming a couple,” Laura, an international student in Korea, told me. Korea Joongang Daily.

English

In Korea, young people often meet each other through forms such as anonymous dating, or through the introduction of friends and relatives. Image: Onethreeonefour.

According to Irene Yung Park, professor at Yonsei University’s Department of Culture and Literature, the concept of “dating” was popular in kimchi in the 1960s. At that time, marriage was based on love and couple dating. gradually accepted.

“If you want to get married, you need to get to know someone and fall in love. The growth of dating culture has led to a series of ‘underground rules’, some of which are still maintained today,” Park said.

According to Park, some common forms of meeting in Korea include: jamanchu (accidentally acquainted), sogaeting (hidden dating), or inmanchu (object introduction sessions).

In addition, kimchi society is still segregated by age and gender. Compared to other countries, Korean men and women rarely have social contact with each other, so natural encounters are rare.

Another aspect worth mentioning in Korean dating culture is the division of stages in love.

For example, Laura has repeatedly received the question: “You have reached the stage sseom (conversing) with anyone?”.

She said that this stage is the process of chatting, learning the interests and personality of the other person. However, the difference of sseom in Korean dating culture is only allowed to last about 1 month.

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Korean dating culture has many “unwritten” rules, from how to meet to the development of feelings. Image: CNN.

If the dating period is extended – usually 3 dates – the person is considered to be faking it. After this period, the two almost have an “unwritten” commitment – they are objects of each other.

“Westerners often find out who they like by hanging out, chatting without time limits or commitments. You need to have many dates to see if you are suitable for that person,” Park said.

According to the professor, these “underground dating laws” are heavily influenced by dramas. From looks, dating trends, confessions to popular flirting all stem from hit series.

Park gives an example of a movie My Sassy Girlreleased in 2001, created a trend of wearing uniforms on dates thanks to a scene played by a male and female lead.

Since then, young people often wear uniforms to famous dating places such as amusement parks, cinemas… Even uniform rental shops have sprung up quickly.

“Korea is a collectivist country, so social trends spread very quickly,” explains Park.

According to Zing

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