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Single mother working as an Osin met a German man, went to the West to give birth to 2 happy children

Experiencing an unhappy marriage, Hoai Thuong has never thought about getting married again. However, happiness still smiles at the single mother, so that she can meet a kind German man who is a husband and father devoted to his family, as if to partially compensate for the hurt in the past.

More specifically, the stepdaughter is the “bridge” between Thuong and her current husband – Armin. Because he sympathizes with her situation, loves her daughter, and wants to take care of Suri with her single mother (born in 2013). They get to know each other and then decide to get married. Currently, Ms. Thuong’s family is living in Germany, has 2 more child members, Felix (born in 2018) and Valentina (born in 2020).

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The home of Ms. Thuong and Mr. Armin.

Ms. Thuong calls her own story “The love story of her homestay”. Before giving birth to her first child, she worked as a spa and tattoo artist. She became a single mother when her daughter was only 1 year old, returned to her hometown in Hue to escape her ex-husband and started cleaning homestays for her relatives. She recalls: “Away from Hue when I was young, I suddenly became a single mother in my own hometown. Fortunately, my cousin just opened a homestay in Hue, seeing the difficult situation of mother and daughter, immediately suggested that I come clean to earn some money to support my life. In those days, I was busy cleaning the room, when the baby was young, no one cared, I had to carry the baby while cleaning.”

Mr. Armin is a regular guest of the homestay. Seeing that she was working hard and having trouble with her child, she asked to take care of the child, take Suri to eat delicious food, go out to work, and do things that her father had never done. When he returned to Germany, he felt sorry for the lovely, obedient Vietnamese girl but soon lacked her father’s affection. He suddenly suggested to Thuong that he wanted to become Suri’s adoptive father, help him go to kindergarten and give him a better life.

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Single mother working as an Osin met a German man, went to the West to give birth to 2 happy children - 4

“I felt very surprised and just thought it was a joke, so I joked harder: “If you raise a child, then take care of your mother!” And unexpectedly he agreed. So the two got to know each other through screen every day.In September 2015, he asked to visit the mother and daughter again and wanted to bring the mother and daughter to Germany so that he could take better care of them.So after a week of “proposing” he flew back. Vietnam and a small wedding ceremony took place”, Thuong shared.

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Thuong now has a full life with her psychological husband, raising 3 lovely children, Suri, Felix and Valentina. In addition, she also set up a Youtube channel to share stories abroad. In family life, they are parents who are devoted to their children, respect their children’s decisions, and have both soft and strict educational methods. Listening to the heart of a mother of Hue origin, many people find the motivation to believe in kindness, in love and that everyone deserves their own happiness.

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At the time of her divorce from her ex-husband, her daughter was still very young. What motivates you to get a divorce even though you know it’s going to be very hard for you to be both a father and a mother and financially support your child?

Married life at that time had no way out. My ex-husband and I never had a common voice, and I was abused many times. So I think it’s better to raise a child alone than to suffer like that. I think being alone is hard, but it’s still better than working hard and being mentally persecuted. Just being with you is enough. At that time, my mother and sister always helped me raise the baby.

During the time alone raising children. Is there a story associated with both physical and mental difficulties that you remember forever?

What makes me remember forever is that I had to move house countless times. Sometimes, my mother and I just moved in, and before we could stay, the owner kicked us out. I don’t know why no matter where I go, my ex-husband finds out, even moving out at night. So, my daughter and I had to flee to my mother’s friend’s house to stay and wait until morning to catch the earliest train to Hue. My mother and I went to Hue with only one outfit to wear, no luggage. At that time, Hue was in the cold season, so we had to ask our cousin for clothes to wear temporarily.

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When Tyna decided to be a single mother, her daughter was just over 1 year old.

What gave you the strength to overcome those difficulties?

Every time I look at you, I feel like I just need a baby. I asked God to help me with everything and really, God arranged everything for me and my daughter.

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Daughter is the driving force to help Tyna overcome the difficult time of being a single mother.

After that difficult time, how is the relationship between you and your ex-husband? Does he fulfill his duty to his daughter?

I never thought about asking my ex-husband for child support because I didn’t want anything to do with both sides. To this day, the fears of the past still haunt me. My daughter knows she has two fathers but does not want to contact. I always say: “For me, Armin’s dad is my dad. I don’t want another father.”

My current husband told me to forgive so I don’t have to worry too much, so I sometimes send pictures of my baby to his biological father, not talk.

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Having experienced an unhappy marriage, what convinced you to open your heart to new happiness?

I never thought I would meet my current husband. Honestly, I’m afraid of marriage. But we kept talking back and forth, I could feel his sincere concern. Although he is far away, he always flies back to see his mother and children when he has time, every 2-3 months, he comes back 1-2 weeks. Once when I was a vegetarian, I only ate rice with spicy salt and pepper and I really felt very good, so he called me to ask what I wanted to eat. I just said to eat rice with salt. He didn’t say anything, but about an hour later, he sent a bank code to receive money and told him to buy something delicious to eat. My husband is quiet and not a gallant person, but he always pampers his wife and children wholeheartedly.

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What are you attracted to in your partner?

I think my husband and I are not attracted to each other, but both think for our daughter to come together. He sympathizes with his situation, loves the baby, so he loves his mother. I love my children, so I also love him – a stranger but asked me to raise my daughter.

Later, when I asked him why he loved Suri so much, he said that because his son called him father, he felt very happy. He wants to help his mother and daughter have a fuller life.

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Tyna’s stepdaughter is the “bridge” to help her mother and stepfather become a charm.

Can you reveal more about the relationship between your husband and your wife’s children at the moment?

My husband and I are very close. He always accompanies his children in everything, such as going to school. If the school needs anything, he will volunteer to participate because he does not want to miss any of my children’s occasions. There was a time when the school went out of school and the school needed a few parents to help, so he took a week off work to accompany his son. Everything you need, I take notes and do when the opportunity arises. Sometimes, father and son go to the movies or musicals.

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Single mother working as an osin met a German man, went to the West to give birth to 2 happy children - 13

What about Armin’s parents, how did her husband’s family accept her mother and daughter?

The day I went to Germany, my wife and I kept it a secret to surprise our grandparents. Mother-in-law cried while hugging her mother and daughter. Parents-in-law are very kind and pleasant, always taking care of themselves from the little things. For example, when going out, grandparents will pay attention to the weather to bring a hat for themselves when it is sunny, mineral water is not carbonated for their mother and children (because the husband’s family is used to drinking carbonated spring water), gloves or coat if it’s cold. My mother-in-law always silently takes care of me like that.

Did your mother and daughter have difficulty adjusting to life in Germany?

When we first arrived, we sometimes missed Vietnam a lot, but my husband and parents-in-law always accompanied us. On weekends, the whole family will go out to play and then every week grandparents come to visit. Grandpa loves mother and daughter very much. So I don’t find it difficult, but I’m always grateful and happy with my current life.

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Single mother working as an osin met a German man, went to the West to give birth to 2 happy children - 15

In the family, what kind of husband and father is Brother Armin? Do you often help her with housework and child care?

He taught me in a way that if I don’t listen, I’ll let you do as you please and bear the consequences. Once, my older child only liked to eat pasta with tomato sauce, the rest of the dishes he criticized. So my husband told me to let him eat pasta with ketchup for 2 weeks. At first, I also felt sorry for him, but I still did. After 2 weeks, my baby has never dared to be picky about eating or criticizing any dishes her mother cooks. In addition, he also teaches children how to defend themselves and protect themselves.

On weekends, my husband usually cooks. We share housework and child rearing, but we don’t divide or compare why you do this and I don’t and vice versa. When I go to see friends, he will stay at home to take care of the children. Our children cling to their father, everything he wants to do, so I don’t have a hard time (laughs).

Do you and your wife have conflicts in raising children because of cultural differences?

We agree with each other, one person is teaching the child, the other does not object. When my husband is talking, I do not interfere and vice versa.

I often yell at my children, but I don’t understand why the children are more afraid of their father, even though their father never speaks loudly. But none of them raised their voices to their mother. Once, when my baby yelled at her mother, he shouted my name and told me that I can do anything but absolutely not to raise my voice to Mama.

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Baby Suri is beautiful and gentle at the age of 9.

Some of your parenting principles, how do you expect them to grow up?

At first, I also expected her to do this and that, but my husband told me to let her do what she likes, and my parents should accompany and support her. My wife and I want to be a support so that our children can express their feelings. If you make a mistake, we will correct it together with you. Parents’ job is to remind them when they do wrong and encourage them, not force them to do things they don’t like. I want my child to learn piano or violin, but if she likes to play, I support it.

My husband used to play the flute, so we practice together every night after finishing schoolwork. Every time, when he has a performance at school or anywhere, his wife, grandparents and aunts all drive to see even though the performance is only about 5 minutes.

Life here is very peaceful, every day passes gently. I just want my children to be healthy and be good citizens. Live happy or not, it’s up to you to see that it’s enough.

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