Confessions of a 9X guy who specializes in listening to calls Confidentiality of a depressed person’s voice

After a year of working with people in crisis, Hoang Ha Gia Bao (27 years old) was quite surprised when the people on the other end of the line were sometimes not in the age range he predicted.

Before becoming a volunteer of the Tomorrow hotline, Bao thought that the audience he would listen to would be young people. But when he embarked on the actual work, he met both old people or middle-aged people.

Bao said it’s not just young people who can fall into depression. It’s not just those experiencing financial or emotional hardship, either. There are people who seem to have a very smooth and lucky life, but are in a very bad psychological state.

There was a call that Bao still remembers to this day, from an educated middle-aged woman with a stable job. But because she has to live in a family that does not get along, she is always stressed and suffers from depression at times.

The woman called Bao in a state of planning suicide with clear details of the date and time. The only thing holding her back and motivating her to call the hotline was her baby.

“She couldn’t share it with her family, she didn’t have close friends. There was only one group of friends, but these people were all in the same situation – had committed suicide.”

In this case, in addition to listening to the caller’s share, Bao will try to find a way to delay the victim’s self-harm plan.

Calling back the next day is always a mandatory step where volunteers schedule an appointment with callers to make sure they’re okay afterwards.

Bao said that recently, after the media reported on a male student’s suicide, calls from children of this age with similar problems were received more often.

Bao still remembers the call from a schoolgirl whose family was incomplete when her parents divorced. Her stress comes from the hurtful way family members talk.

Luckily, I have a friend who listens, doesn’t judge, but that friend doesn’t seem to understand what I’m going through.

“She came to us to share her suppressed emotions. However, in her, I still feel there is a high level of spiritual strength and not enough to lead to self-harming behaviors.”

Other stories that Bao has heard, many people might judge as nothing too serious to cause stress or depression. But with volunteers like Bao, they always have to remind themselves to keep the spirit of non-judgmental listening. They always put themselves in the position of the sharer to empathize with the pain and loneliness of the victim.

Therefore, after the 4-hour shift, sometimes the heavy emotions of incoming calls make Bao distracted and lose his positive energy.

At that time, he found a way to relieve himself. Having studied mindfulness in college, Bao chose to sharpen a knife to practice it. At that time, his mind was completely focused on the action of the knife being sharpened on the stone and from there he regained a more relaxed and balanced feeling.

Other times, Bao gets back on his feet by experimenting with crafting coffee at home. This experience requires the performer to focus on taste and smell to feel each layer of coffee taste. To practice mindfulness, Bao said, is to choose a certain task, then focus all of our senses on the manipulations of that work to fully feel it at the moment it is happening. It was a stress reliever that worked for me.

On the contrary, the stories that Bao heard sometimes brought him useful experiences. “It helps me have a more thorough view of myself and the life around me. The stories that you have bravely shared also help me have more experiences from a different perspective that I have never had the opportunity to experience. I feel grateful to have been able to see and hear the world from a different perspective.”

Nguyen Thao

Photo: NVCC