Couples who have great wealth can’t keep their happiness

I am 47 years old, have two sons and a daughter and they are studying abroad.

Economic: We own huge assets, manage businesses with thousands of direct employees. We are all educated, smart and good at business, so we built this fortune ourselves.

About husband: You are three years older than me. When he was newly married, his family lived at a normal level of living. The whole family lived in a 30 m2 fourth-level house, including his parents, he and a sister with poor health, she was not married.

About me: I come from a poor countryside, trying to stay in the city to change my life. I used to live poor and lonely here. I am independent, do not let my parents spend money on applying for a job for me. Our parents raised us to study and it was too hard. The opportunity came, I started a business when I was only 25 years old, rushed into making money and building a career, ignoring love or being in love was not deep enough. He was the first person I brought home to meet my family and then get married.

We knew each other and loved each other for almost a year before we got married because we were both old. Both sides perceive the other and each other’s families as decent and kind. An idyllic gentle love. After the wedding, we had to sleep at his uncle’s house for nearly a year because his house was only a level four house, living together with the whole family, there was no place for us to sleep. All the money I saved was used to build my husband’s house. A very spacious and comfortable five-story house. You can’t contribute at all,

I told my husband and wife that they would live with their grandparents because he was an only son. My husband’s parents are very good. At first, my mother-in-law was not really happy with me, probably because she saw that her daughter-in-law was agile and strong, afraid of encroaching on her son. Later, she understood my character and loved me more. After living with my grandparents for about five years, we bought a house and moved out separately to facilitate my business. Our 20-year marriage can be divided into three stages as follows:

The first seven years: The economy was made by one hand and gave birth to two children. Her former husband worked as a salaried employee, then quit and opened a small company with only a few employees, earning as a salaried employee. The capital to open this company was also spent by me for him to do. I don’t put a lot of weight on money, I just want my family to love each other. I love my husband, always feel proud of him because he is honest, calm and very careful. Food and living expenses with my husband’s parents for him to pay. I take care of my children’s education in international schools, shop for my family, and save the rest.

Every year, I whisper to my husband about the money I earn. I have the ability, do reputable business, so the business is growing day by day, building a large fortune. In those seven years, how much did my husband do, I don’t know, asked him, he just said “not much”. Then he closed the company and was unemployed for about two years. At this stage, the husband is not happy and comfortable because he feels inferior to his wife but still tries to control his behavior.

The next eight years: My husband works with me. I used all the capital I had saved up in the first seven years to open a large workshop for him to manage. Before that, he spent a year working as a hired worker at another company to learn an apprenticeship. He is very passionate about this project, eats and sleeps with it, builds and really does his best. This I acknowledge and fully support him. Then a disagreement occurred due to a somewhat different working attitude, the biggest problem was that he tried to use his ego to gain self-determination, prove his own ability and encroach on his wife.

He treated me excessively when his words and actions showed power and disrespect for me. He considers the merit and money to be his work, I just did the top part. In particular, he was not friendly with my brother and my parents. He agreed that his parents would take care of themselves. This is what I despise the most. Of course, my parents I take care of in the best conditions. I also take care of my husband’s parents just like my own, so my family and relatives all love me.

Five years ago: It was the worst period of the marriage. The husband does not talk much but refuses to listen to his wife to talk and exchange problems. Whenever a fight was a cold war, then he did it all by himself, not discussing and dissecting the problem with me. More and more we are separated, avoiding collisions by limiting the exchange of work and opinions of each person.

I also have the shortcoming of being short-tempered, impatient, and impatient. I am too strong and straightforward. When my husband got angry, I could only control a few sentences, then argued with him. I always keep civilized language, never offend you. He was ready to swear, swear and encroach on me.

When life is too oppressive, I propose a divorce. He doesn’t really agree but accepts it anyway. Then came the most stressful time about the division of assets. It was terrible at that time and lost all affection because of his fighting and distrust towards me. I accept your proposal, just hoping to be freed. I moved out to live on my own. After that, he resolutely refused to divorce, insisted that he wanted to keep the family, did not want to lose me. He told me it was irresponsible when I just wanted to live my life according to my own will, wanted to break up a family.

Up to now, we have agreed on the division of assets, which will be divided equally between the two parties, everyone is a billionaire. As for the house that my husband’s parents built before, I did not touch it, nor did he mention it when dividing the property. That house is currently vacant, my grandmother is living in the house we bought for her to stay near my family. About 20 years as a bride, I have not officially inherited this property, so I do not include it in the division of property, nor do I care.

I have been living alone for a year now, we have faced many ups and downs that I never thought I would encounter in my married life. We have worked hard together, have so much money, but unfortunately we lack love for each other. Until now, he insisted on asking for a chance to heal, he knew he was wrong and refused to divorce. In addition to the conflicts that arose largely due to joint business and his sad and poor behavior during the time of property division, we are both good, decent, and faithful people. The two have traveled the world together, taking their children on trips, enjoying and taking care of them.

Now I don’t hate him like before, but I have no feelings anymore, I don’t want to be close to him. I want to live up to my strong personality and passion for business. I also thought, 47 years old, should I get a divorce or just accept it? Money is now clearly divided, business is also separate, there will be no more collisions. He also tried for a whole year to hold on, maybe later on he will gradually regain his love, anyway, it is better for the children not to divorce.

On the other hand, I think the children are all grown up, going to school away from home doesn’t matter, they all agree that if they are not happy, they should get a divorce. I think I have health, passion, live a joyful and devoted life. I feel so confused. Looking forward to your advice.

Hoai

Readers call 024 7300 8899 (ext 4529) during office hours for support and questions.