From heartbreaking incidents, here are 4 simple steps to RESOLVE conflicts
In a row in the past, there have been many cases of students committing suicide because of the pressure that many people cannot help but feel sorry for. At the end of March, an 8th grade girl committed suicide by hanging at her home. By the beginning of April, public opinion was shocked by the fact that a male student from Hanoi – Amsterdam High School for the Gifted jumped upstairs. And recently, the 8th grade female student in Dak Lak province hanged herself.
Not only in Vietnam, there are many similar tragic cases abroad. In China, there was a record of a male student arguing with his mother in the car, struggling to get off and immediately jumping off the overpass. The mother now can only cry and call for her child and ask for help from people around.
Before acting foolishly, most children had conflicts with their parents. They feel themselves under pressure and end up looking for negative solutions. Many opinions say that children think shallowly, only because of temporary anger, which leads to pitiful actions. But some opinions recognize that tragedy often stems from family education.
A 17-year-old male student argued with his mother and then insisted on getting off the bus.
It can be said that conflicts between parents and children have never been a right-wrong distinction. In some cases, parents need to calm down, use reason to solve problems, and avoid hurting their children. Conflict between parents and children is a necessary process in life to find solutions and improve ourselves together. This is also how parents and children grow up together.
Understanding the root cause of conflict is the first step in learning how to deal with it. Conflict between parents and children arises from the following 3 causes.
3 CAUSES OF CONFLICT
1. Conflict of needs
This is a common conflict, especially when children are young. For example, when the child is watching a movie, but the parents have a need to watch the news. Or when taking their children to buy books, parents want to choose classics but their children are only interested in comic books. Such petty contradictions appear a lot in life. If not handled properly will lead to other conflicts over time.
2. Not meeting each other’s expectations
Are many parents nagging their children about everyday things like: “Why don’t you clean your room, the room is as messy as a pig’s cage!”, “If you don’t get a good score in the next exam, I’ll take your phone away,”… When one party fails to meet the expectations of the other, conflicts arise.
3. Conflict of thought concepts
When children enter puberty, also known as rebellious age, it is easy to cause conflicts with parents. At this age, children often try to establish their own views and principles, not wanting their parents to intrude. Therefore, this is the period in which family disputes often arise. When their wishes are not achieved, children are more likely to act negatively.
Although in the process of parenting, it is inevitable that there will be times when conflicts arise. But parents need to come up with appropriate handling to minimize conflicts. At the same time, the children also learn how to face and solve problems in the future. If parents want to have a close relationship with their children, they need to adhere to the following principles.
– Principle of respect: Parents and children need to respect each other. Conflict is caused by lack of respect. First, parents should not give themselves the right to force their children to be absolutely obedient. Second, parents should learn to compromise with their children. Here are 2 ways to avoid conflicts and to solve problems. Conflicts need to be resolved soon, otherwise they will smolder and burn in the near future.
– Principles of discussing issues in each specific case: Parents, think for yourself if you have ever fallen into the following situation. For example, seeing that their children are going to be late for school, parents often scold: “I’m always like that. Why do I go anywhere, do whatever I do?”. And many parents will list a series of times their children are late. Apparently the accusation had little to do with what was going on. When dealing with conflicts, remember to focus on the one thing, or else there will be other conflicts.
In arguments with children, parents need to adhere to 2 basic principles. (Illustrated image)
The way to resolve conflicts between parents and children is a combination of reason and emotion. But it should be noted that the end goal is not to vent emotions but to thoroughly solve the problem. The steps below will help parents resolve conflicts quickly and mend their relationships with their children.
4 WAYS TO RESOLVE DISTRIBUTIONS WITH YOUR CHILDREN
1. Learn to control your emotions
Conflicts between parents and children take place when the children cannot control their emotions. At that time, the child may cry, fight, argue. In these cases, parents need to calmly handle it by going away, temporarily not talking to their children. Regardless of the conflict, managing your emotions is the first step to getting things back on track.
2. Review the reason for the conflict
When emotions are stable, parents should ask themselves these questions: “What do I want my child to do? What do I want my parents to do? Where does the conflict come from? Is it a conflict of needs, a conflict of expectations?….”. We need to properly understand the conflict in order to have an effective solution.
At this time, parents need to focus on solving related problems, should not create any other expectations and requirements for their children.
Instead of scolding, parents should calmly work with their children to find out the cause of the conflict. (Illustrated image)
3. Share your parents’ feelings
When both sides have calmed down, parents should share their feelings gently. Besides, parents should encourage their children to express their feelings and opinions. Sharing affection is an important means of strengthening the bond between parents and children.
4. Focus on problem solving
Conflict will not be resolved if it only comes down to sharing feelings. After being calm, parents need to have a frank conversation with their children to resolve outstanding conflicts. For example, children often go to school late, parents should guide children to overcome such as: Get up earlier, prepare books from the night before, try to go to bed early. Surely if parents are gentle and take appropriate measures, children will make remarkable progress.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Afamily.vn – Read the original article here
