Behind your child’s rebellion is the behavior of parents, please stop the action below-Youth

How to know how to communicate effectively with children, how to understand their psychology to know the right direction for them? That must always be the top concern of parents in modern society.

Children are not always able to control their impulses. (Illustrated image)

All the problems of children can be found in the parents. If parents adopt these habits, it will only make their children more rebellious.

1. Try to control your child’s impulses

In many cases, parents express frustration by telling their child “don’t do something,” but the child will often do the opposite.

Children are not always able to control their impulses. Self-control is a skill that is not fully developed in children. Therefore, parents need to be patient to adjust. When you are calm, you have time to think and come up with a response that is best for your child.

2. Too much advice

In psychology there is a term called the overriding effect. This is a negative psychological state of people, proving that too much stimulation for a long time or too strong stimulation will make the psyche extremely uncomfortable and prone to resistance and rebellion.

In other words, the more parents advise children, the lower the absorption, the less meaningful it is.

In the Chinese variety show “After School” there is such a mother-daughter pair. Ngo Hoan Nhue is a girl who is considered to be understanding and cute, with excellent academic records, ranked in the top 3 at the school. However, the girl’s mother is still not satisfied. In order for her daughter to understand that today’s efforts can be exchanged for a better life in the future, she always spoke up and pressed her daughter. Until one day, Ngo roared at his mother before slamming the door: “If you continue to push me like that, I will leave”.

When she heard her daughter’s words, the mother’s face changed from surprise to helplessness. She really didn’t understand why the mother’s concern was exchanged for her daughter’s angry attitude.

“If you want to be a successful mother, you have to remember two words of silence. Once the mother stops nagging, the child will have 50% less trouble,” an educator participating in the After School program later analyzed.

According to him, the rebellion of children is sometimes due to the disrespectful communication of parents for them. For children, saying it once is better than repeating it many times. Too much advice is not a magic weapon for children to succeed, but it will cut the closeness between parents and children, causing them to move further and further away from their parents.

3. Too perfectionist

We all have different skill sets: some can be focused, others are careful or have a tendency towards perfectionism. As parents, we must distinguish the behavior a child is exhibiting at a particular time, from what it really is.

You should identify undesirable behaviors to correct your child, and not just give him a momentary action that isn’t right. This will help children not be psychologically hurt now and in the future.

4. Don’t let your child express negative emotions

Children experience feelings just like adults, only they can’t hide or repress them. Above all, children do not always know how to express their feelings with words. That’s why it’s a good idea to try to help your child find the right words to say. A good way to do that is to ask them directly what’s going on, as well as give them space.

5. Compare your child with others

Being compared to friends and siblings is the secret pain of many children. How many people as children yearn more for their parents’ recognition than to hear compliments about other people?

In repeated comparisons, the child goes from guilt at first to insensitivity the next. Even many children have deeply denied themselves: “It turns out that a parent’s love is conditional. I am not worthy of their love if I am not excellent”. And then children will think in this world that there will be no one to love them unconditionally, no one to trust them to rely on.

As the Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler once said, comparison will make children lose confidence and hurt their hearts badly. Each child has their own strengths so any comparison is lame. Parents should respect and appreciate children’s abilities, not discriminate or demean them. To encourage your child, comparisons can be made, but in the right way. Parents should find their children’s strengths so that children can discover their own potential.