No matter how good the relationship is, don’t let it go!
Human intelligence allows for a stable social circle of 148 people, rounded to about 150 people. That is, the upper limit of each person’s friend circle at a given stage is no more than 150 people. As they reach middle age, their circle of friends gets smaller and smaller.
Therefore, for quality relationships, boldly perform the appropriate “subtraction” for your circle of friends based on the following 4 rules.
1. Within friends: Be equal, don’t hold back
The character Emma in Flaubert’s famous novel “Madame Bovary”, after attending a lavish ball hosted by Marquis with her husband, aspires to become a member of the elite. So she borrowed 8,000 francs to buy jewelry from a merchant to pretend to be a lady.
However, from beginning to end, no matter how hard Emma tries, she cannot hide that she is just an ordinary woman, gradually being shunned by everyone.
As you can see, changing your appearance does not help you integrate into a community. Instead, you can only enhance your self-worth to match high-quality relationships. Once you have a certain amount of power and influence, you will have a safe stepping stone to not lose yourself.
Any circle pays attention to identity and value. So, even if you regularly appear in a community, it does not mean that you can afford to exchange, communicate and compete with them. No matter how hard you try, you’re still an outsider.
Illustration. Source: Internet
2. Not close enough, not strong enough
Some people always consider themselves to be emotional people, but eventually the promise of “frequent contact” gradually turns into “no contact”.
Ms. M and her college friends had maintained a once-a-weekly frequency for many years, such a closeness that many people envied. But last year, her classmate went to another city to develop work. Miss M helplessly realizes that spending time together every week has gradually become a burden. The commute to meet each other between the two cities is too tiring and time consuming.
Because of different life experiences, it is difficult to have a common theme. Video calls are also sparse and there are silences. The friendship, which was admired by many, was broken after only half a year.
In fact, a relationship, no matter how good, will fade over time.
Friendship inherently has many things to say, but later on, everyone goes their separate ways, even if they miss each other, they can no longer find a reason to connect. Brothers and sisters initially grew up together, but when they grow up and start their own families, they can’t be as close as they used to be.
In life, meeting and parting is a process that everyone has to go through. Because each person’s life trajectory is different, they have to travel different distances. After all, understanding the pain of separation makes people appreciate the moment of meeting more.
Illustration. Source: Internet
3. Negative energy, should be avoided
When did you decide to end a relationship?
The best answer is: “When the energy this relationship gives me is much less than it consumes.”
One person frankly shared a personal story that, not long ago, she was forced to block the social network account of an old friend named So Trieu.
For the past six months, Sister Zhao has frequently complained to her in the middle of the night about her husband not coming home at night, or getting drunk on the sofa when he got home. Even during working hours, Sister Trieu often comes to vent her heart.
After a while, a few words of comfort were not enough to quell Sister Zhao’s sadness. Even the negative energy from the old friend makes the listeners themselves affected, becoming irritable and unable to control their emotions.
There is a saying: “If you blame God for no reason, God will not love you, if you blame someone without reason, you will not agree, if you complain too much, you will be more troubled in the future.”
This also confirms the “law of emotional transfer” in psychology, that the emotions of a person and those around them will affect each other. Surrounding yourself with people full of “negative emotions” is often a disaster. If you don’t get away in time, you will fall into an emotional abyss.
4. The circle of friends hides cause and effect: Be careful when communicating
According to a survey, your final appearance is a combination of your five closest friends, and they will subtly influence your behavior.
In short, a person’s future is often tied to one’s circle of friends. Careless making friends will bring disaster. Having sincere and kind friends helps us to have a better life.
As Lincoln said: “In a sense, what kind of friends you choose, you choose that kind of life.”
High-quality friends are often like a shining mirror, helping you to stay introspective and progressive without being overwhelmed by the intertwined streams of desires. Conversely, if you associate deeply with undisciplined people, you will be “infected” with the same arbitrary lifestyle.
There is an old saying: “Choosing friends is the most important thing in life”. When one is young, it is easy to be negligent in relationships. But as they grow older, they will gradually understand that only two or three friends are soulmates. Be bold enough to let go of unequal social relationships, non-contact friends, or relationships that only bring negative energy.
By: Aboluowang
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Kenh14.Vn – Read the original article here
