The heart forgives, the mind still burns with jealousy

I forgive my husband, but when I’m near him, I can’t forget that he had an affair and betrayed my love (Artwork)

My wife and I used to be a model family, the dream of many people in the neighborhood. Only 26 years old, we are the owners of two large, profitable drugstores in the countryside of An Giang province. We also have a fleet of rental cars and real estate. But what people love and admire is not wealth, but we are very happy with two children, a daughter, and a boy who is as beautiful as an angel.

My husband loves his wife and children to the fullest. I also love and trust my husband completely. So my world is husband, two children within four walls of a pharmacy. I rarely go anywhere without my husband, not even to a relative’s party. My husband is also at home all day, only in the afternoon he plays football for two hours.

I was in complete happiness until the 12th year of marriage, I happened to find out that my husband had betrayed me for the past two years (my mother-in-law called and complained to my brother-in-law).

The story broke, I learned that the whole neighborhood knew that my husband had an affair with L.- the wife of a close friend of his had passed away. My husband is very sophisticated, every afternoon, I thought he was going to play football, that’s when the two of them went on a date at a motel. There were even afternoons when he said to me: “Let me take baby Bap to my grandfather’s house to play”, or he said that going to the party is also taking advantage of the opportunity to meet his lover. I completely believe when you say Uncle Ba gives a bag of porridge, Uncle Nam gives a box of lunch… in the morning I see breakfast food on the pharmacy counter, while it is “small tam” taking care of my husband.

I went to L.’s Facebook page and saw her showing off expensive gifts, jewelry, and bouquets of flowers given to her by her lover. Looking at them, I want to faint, because they are exactly like the bouquets of flowers, the gifts my husband gave me. It was also at this time that I discovered that my husband hid a phone to contact his lover. The phone is full of sweet messages and pictures of two people traveling together in Ca Mau, Vung Tau. As it turned out, those were the times when he said the car was rented and the driver was busy so he had to drive. I have no doubts. It hurt even more when my daughter told me that once my husband took my two children to the game area and ate fried chicken with L’s mother and daughter.

I was like an idiot, a pitiful clown when I was the last to find out. My mother-in-law hugged me and cried: “Knowing that K. is wrong, I can only yell at him, but I can’t open my mouth to tell you”.

After my husband’s adultery, the joy and laughter in my family disappeared, the couple was awkward and tense (Artwork)

When the truth came out, my husband confessed and begged me to forgive him. I was in pain to the point of numbness and took my two children to live with my biological parents, 5km from my house. He and his parents-in-law went down to my parents’ house to apologize and beg. However, I did not return and decided to divorce.

For two months, my husband asked many of my relatives and friends for help. He swore to his family that he would live and die. My two children cry, miss their father, miss their grandmother. In the dream, my daughter still sobbed: “Mom, don’t leave dad” softened my heart and decided to forgive him.

Heart thinks so. But when facing the person who betrayed me for 2 years, I can’t forget the hurt and pain he caused. Every time he comes near, I feel uncomfortable, uncomfortable. How much frustration I poured out on you. He was silent, his head bowed.

I used to think, once you have forgiven, you should let go. But the heart is still not at peace. Romantic images of husband and mistress, sweet text messages from both of them kept scrolling through my mind, suffocating and disgusting my husband.

My brother and I promised to start over, but the anger in me has not subsided, and he still has the inferiority complex of a criminal who has not really been pardoned, so our life is quite awkward. Fortunately, there are two little angels who are the bridge between parents, making the family atmosphere less stressful. Indeed, with the sin of adultery, I want to forgive, but my heart is not easy to forget. Is that the price of my husband and of myself – when I am subjective, oversleeping on happiness.

According to Women in Ho Chi Minh City