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‘The story of a 6th grade girl when she was scolded by her mother made me sad’

Pressure surrounds children

Recently, a series of teen suicides have made many parents afraid. The question is, what should parents do to care, share with their children, show their children how to overcome the pressures of life?

Ms. Phan Lan Huong, director of the Center for Research on Children’s Rights – Vietnam Union of Science and Technology Associations, shared that she was very concerned to hear from a 6th grade girl who signed up for psychological counseling. She talked about the pressure of always being compared to her friends by her mother. When I got bad grades, my mother scolded me very harshly, forbidding me to go out with friends. Even, my mother was always angry for no reason and vented those angers on my head, calling me “you – me”, swearing in front of me. My mother’s attitude made me have a negative view, many times thinking about ending the fatigue of being with her. I wish I disappeared.

She cried a lot and said: ‘I no longer have feelings for my mother, I can’t feel happiness from her, I want to be loved’.

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Ms. Phan Lan Huong, director of the Center for Research on Children’s Rights – Vietnam Union of Science and Technology Associations

The sharing of a 6th grader girl from an expert shows that part of the reason why children are depressed and want to end their lives is the pressure caused by their parents.

The time of online learning in the past has partly changed the psychology of children. Every day, facing 4 walls, there is no space, communication environment plus the pressure of academic achievement makes children more stressed. Statistics from the National Center for Child Protection (BVTE) 111 show that in 2021, children experiencing violence by family members account for the highest rate of 72.84%, an increase of 5.3%. compared to 2020.

This figure proves that not only children suffer from stress at home, but parents also suffer from it. It is not only the pressure of work and income but also the conflicts and disagreements when parents and children stay at home all day. Above all, adolescence is characterized by age psychology: impulsive, narcissistic, rebellious, reckless, careless…, if it is affected by bad friends, surroundings, and psychology. Fear of inferiority also makes children have negative thoughts. That is one of the reasons leading to the recent suicides of children.

How do I know if my child is depressed?

According to expert Phan Lan Huong, to know if a child shows signs of wanting to commit suicide requires the care and sophistication of parents in understanding their child. Because there are events that are foretold, but there are also unexpected events when conflicts occur that cause children to act spontaneously. Some signs of your child’s psychological well-being include:

– Your child has negative signs of physical health: difficulty sleeping, erratic eating, loss of appetite, fatigue like loss of energy.

– The child has psychological signs: anxiety, fear, sadness, depressed mood, irritability, crying, preferring to be alone, talking about death or alluding to death or liberation, sporadic, slightly interrupted voice or unwillingness to talk.

Your child shows signs of behavior: fatigued movements, loss of interest in things around him, unwillingness to take care of his body or appearance, behaviors that involve self-destruction such as slitting hands. , foot…

Right now, parents need to have a reasonable and timely form of intervention or support for their children, understand the psychological characteristics of adolescence, and are delicate in how they interact with their children.

“There is no pressure on studies or pressure on family relationships. Follow up closely with your child to understand the difficulties in your child’s social relationships, without prying or interfering too deeply in his or her privacy. Parents should remember, children also need their own secrets or privacy. Instead of teaching and scolding about their children’s failures or mistakes, parents should share and support and teach their children how to do it right.

Children must have the right to be wrong because they are wrong to be adults. Even adults make mistakes at times. Parents need to avoid letting the argument escalate to a fight or use offensive words to hurt their children. It is necessary to know how to stop at the right time, know how to control one’s anger so that the relationship between parents and children does not have tension and distance,” shared Ms. Phan Lan Huong.

“When seeing that their children have signs of instability in psychology, behavior, communication, etc., parents need to find out the causes and create conditions for their children to have many opportunities to participate in recreational activities. Sometimes children will not listen to the advice of parents, family members, but friends and reputable people have an important position in guiding or orienting their children’s psychology and behavior. .

Find ways for your child to have a normal diet, sleep, and activities. Reduce activities that cause stress and fatigue for your child. Sports and talents also help children to relieve stress and sadness. Strengthen the good parent-child relationship. This requires parents to change themselves, sometimes it takes courage to overcome their inherent decades-old habits and ways of thinking,” the expert emphasized.

Taking your child to a psychiatrist when there are any worrying negative signs in your child is also a good way to take the right and timely measures to help your child return to a normal life.

Tu Linh (write the)

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