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Monk Minh Niem’s ​​profound sharing about parents and children

DD.Thich Minh Niem, the author of the book Understand about the heart (Young Publishing House) for Enlightenment conversation about gratitude, living a beautiful life in the spirit of gratitude. This is like a story for young people, to arouse gratitude and value of family, the support of the family (spiritual and bloodline) to overcome temptations, precariousness, tripping on life’s journey. In the thread Parents and children overcome life pressureVietNamNet would like to repost this article.

Teacher, from a psychological point of view, how valuable is gratitude and gratitude?

DD. Like Minh Niem: Science has long confirmed that all individuals in heaven and earth must be influenced by each other in order to exist. That is the principle of interaction. In fact, no individual, not even a tiny electron, cannot exist in isolation.

So every individual must cherish and be grateful to other individuals. And of course, depending on the level of understanding, each individual is aware of what favors or contributions he is receiving to exist or be as he is today, but live with an attitude of gratitude. It can be said that the more knowledgeable the person, the greater the gratitude.

Gratitude alone is not enough, it must be shown in concrete actions that the individual wishes to achieve balance and harmony with other individuals, especially those with the most influence and present conditions. surrounding property.

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DD. Like Minh Niem.

When A sends B a source of good energy and B also sends A a source of good energy, the interaction between these two individuals is very peaceful. But if A keeps sending B auspicious energy, but B refuses to send it back or sends it back with unwholesome energy, then B will have to owe A.

Debt must be paid. If not self-pay, the universe will find a way to reclaim it to maintain a balance between all individuals. Therefore, gratitude and return are the obvious obligations of each individual in the universe, not a noble action. “Drink water, remember the source” is natural!

When we are grateful and return it, it means that we have grasped one of the basic principles of the operation of heaven and earth. We are living according to heaven and earth. But if we are always awake, always living in a sense of gratitude and looking for ways to repay, then good energy will constantly be produced in us.

Naturally, we will not speak or act that harm others, not even the idea of ​​anger or judgment. We will invite a series of cute positive psychology such as acceptance, tolerance, tolerance, forgiveness, support, sharing, letting go…

In general, gratitude is very close to compassion. In other words, a person with great love certainly has a great deal of gratitude.

Gratitude and gratitude can be seen as a right, not just a responsibility, or a duty of each person.

Having worked as a psychotherapist for a long time, do you see a lot of parents who want their children to repay the favor, if not, ohblame or give up. Also, do they pose a huge obstacle to their children’s careers or happiness? So is it conditional love?

DD. Like Minh Niem: Besides the parents who sacrifice their whole life for their children to be warm and happy, there are also parents who think more about themselves than about their children. Even raising children only to later adopt them back.

They have the right to decide for themselves about education, career choices and even choosing a life partner for their children. In the name of love, they don’t care about their child’s feelings, abilities or aspirations. If the child reacts and reclaims the right to control himself, they will accuse him of being an unfilial child. I have witnessed so many children suffering and even sacrificing their lives for their parents.

In ancient Vietnam, there was a very strange dish, which was white frog. People cut a small hole in the grated coconut and put a tadpole (ie a baby frog) in it and bury it in the ground. About 2-3 weeks later, people took it up, cut the coconut out and got a round, milky white frog.

But the sad thing is that the frog was blind, because all that time he lived in cramped, dark conditions, without any sunlight. Although the frog was white and round, it obediently sat motionless like a plastic frog. Do you think any frog wants to be like that?

I don’t think any parent wants to hurt their child, but it may be because they are not aware of how their loving actions will bring suffering to their children. Loving each other without understanding each other is not true love, but rather satisfying the need to be loved.

An exchange. A selfishness. Therefore, being a parent also has to study and practice a lot, not every time you have the ability to have children, you will become a parent.

When parents realize that their child is not only their own work, but also a combination of the quintessence of their ancestors or the energies of heaven and earth, it is not only their continuation but also their mission. divine destiny of the universe, then we will be less involved or mold our child’s life according to our own shallow opinions.

I wouldn’t want my child to be a poor blind white frog. I will find happiness in the stability, freedom and dedication of my children.

Children these days seem uncomfortable when they are close to their parents, so when they have a mental block, they don’t want to talk about it to seek help. Do you have any advice for young people?

DD. Like Minh Niem: In America, there are many young people wearing T-shirts with the words “take me home”, which means “take me home”. Those young people walk bewildered on the street, in school or even in the office. They are lost, helpless.

In the past, they only believed in money, power or lust, but never cared about family relationships. Sometimes they don’t even call their parents for a whole year. When they are defeated, abandoned, and collapsed, they struggle and think about their family.

They know that family is the safest place that can protect them, but they are not brave enough to drag their heels back. Partly for honor. Partly because of fear of parents scolding. But mostly because of not being able to pull myself out of passions and addictions.

“Take me home” is a plea, begging, hoping someone won’t continue to put them in a trap, and also hoping someone lovingly offers a helping hand to help them have enough energy. on the way back home.

So, even if parents don’t understand me or how difficult it is, I still hope that young people must also try to maintain contact with their families, considering it as the first challenge in life to overcome. . It is your responsibility to make your parents listen and understand you, not force them to fend for themselves. They also have many difficulties, pressures, and sometimes they are also exhausted.

After experiencing many years of life, especially when you have children, you will see how difficult the role of a parent is. And then you will understand the two words “family”. But what is the need to wait until then, if you have a bad luck tomorrow, suddenly you will know who you need and trust the most in this life. Don’t wait until you need to find it, maybe it’s too late!

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DD.Thich Minh Niem in a public talk.

What advice do you have – for young people to show their gratitude to their parents in the most practical way?

DD. Like Minh Niem: You should give yourself some time to reflect on your relationship with your creator. If you feel that you have made many mistakes or made a mistake, you should directly apologize. You can also write a handwritten letter expressing your feelings, and include a sincere thank you from the bottom of the heart.

It’s best to spend a lot of time re-engaging deeply with your parents. The greatest gift that parents are always waiting for is the true presence of their children. It’s been a long time, maybe you’ve been busy with a lot of roles but forgot a very comfortable, very sweet and also cute role, which is being a child.

Thank you siry took the time for this conversation!

According to Duc Nhan – Le Ha/Enlightenment

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