Puberty children threaten to smash their mother’s phone, warn them not to touch them, how do parents react?

Ms. Nguyen T. H (Ba Dinh) said that the family has 2 daughters. The children are all “children of other people” but when their children went through puberty right at the time of the Covid-19 outbreak, Hanoi had to distance themselves, and learning online was “very rebellious”.

Once, her daughter born in 2007 argued despite her, she scolded and said “I’ll hit if I’m equal”. This mother fell on her back when her son “warned” right back to her: “You are taller than me, if you push me, I will fall, don’t touch me”.

Meanwhile, another mother with a 12-year-old daughter also had to go online to seek advice from other mothers in the same situation.

This young mother said that her child has just returned to school after a long time of studying online. New class, you are completely new but from a child who is very obedient and understands children to become rebellious, adults will argue back every word.

I am no longer easily ordered to do housework, nor do I give in to the children, if they do not please or touch them, they will beat them.

Illustrations

“Recently going on holiday in a tourist area, my mother told me to take pictures with the children. I do not accept. But mom took some sneaky pictures of her with her sister, so she aggressively bullied her like this: Do you believe I broke your phone right away?

I’m so shocked guys. I also rarely hit my children, but at that time I slapped my children and said it was rude. Oh, the first time having a baby, puberty is so overwhelming… I have 3 daughters… It’s so heartbreaking”, lamented this young mother.

It seems that every family with children goes through this period of crisis. Children going through puberty will go through a lot of changes from physical to psychological and physiological.

Do Minh Loan – Head of Adolescent Health Department (National Children’s Hospital) said that puberty is the stage of development from child to adult, starting from 10 years old to 19 years old.

This age is divided into 3 different stages:

Stage 1: From 10-14 years old;

Stage 2: From 14-16 years old;

Stage 3: From 16-19 years old.

Each stage has a different physiological change.

According to Dr. Minh Loan, in order to recognize that their child is starting to enter puberty, the first thing parents need to pay attention to is physical development. During puberty, under the influence of growth hormones and sex hormones, the child’s body will grow strongly in both height and weight.

At the same time, there are secondary sexual characteristics that create differences in body shape between boys and girls. Usually, girls will go through puberty 1 to 2 years earlier than boys.

Notably, doctors also emphasize the very important psychological changes in puberty that parents must not ignore. Accordingly, Dr. Loan warned, many parents were subjective with the psychological changes of children at puberty.

“This is extremely dangerous, because not grasping the child’s psychology during puberty in time will leave consequences affecting the child’s development,” said Dr. Minh Loan.

The first psychological change of puberty is independence. Dr. Dr. Minh Loan pointed out that from a child completely dependent on his parents, at puberty the child shows self-control in thinking and acting.

At this time, children want to be involved and make decisions in their problems. Children’s independence also depends on each age stage, for example, between the ages of 10 and 13, children begin to tend to separate from their parents, less likely to participate in activities with parents, reluctant to accept words. parental advice.

Between the ages of 14 and 16, children’s conflicts with their parents become increasingly acute and culminate in less and less attention to family and more time with friends. From 17 to 19 years old, at this time, children have a sense of returning to the values ​​of their parents’ advice, respecting and understanding more with the experiences handed down by their parents.

In addition to independence, at this stage children begin to care about body image. This is a very fundamental change, because at puberty, children are curious about changes in their body, want to learn about their body structure, gender differences, and begin to have a need for beauty in each stage. different age.

“From the age of 10 to 13, children begin to care about themselves and the changes that occur during puberty. Easily worried, upset about physical weaknesses or often compares themselves with peers.

Between the ages of 14 and 16, children begin to get used to and accept their body form and spend a lot of time making themselves more beautiful and attractive. As for the period from 17 to 19 years old, children no longer pay too much attention to appearance unless there are abnormalities,” said Dr. Minh Loan.

In parallel with the above changes, according to Dr. Minh Loan, puberty children also tend to expand their social relationships, play in groups of friends and are influenced by groups of playmates.

“The most noticeable change in friendships that parents need to pay attention to is the period from 14 to 16 years old when children start playing with groups of the opposite sex, start having romantic relationships, dating and experimenting. sexual experience”, Dr. Minh Loan informed.

With the above psychological changes, Dr. Minh Loan said that at this stage, each mother, in addition to taking care of and protecting the board, needs to be a friend of her child, grasping the psychological changes of her child. from there to share, empathize and direct your child’s thoughts in the most positive way.

H. English