Parents, step back, accept your children with love

Continuation of the post Parents and children overcome life pressureVietNamNet would like to quote the talk of monk Thich Minh Niem – about How parents should be tolerant and accompany their children in life.

If we look back and look closely, we will see that there are things we like but it does not bring much good value, even at very expensive prices. There are things we don’t like at first, but gradually we find them interesting and valuable.

The backlash against what we perceive to be dislike usually occurs when our energy is running low. We’re not really doing well, not at a channel we’re most satisfied with. There can be a lot of defilements, a lot of movement.

When a parent tells a child that they cannot accept their child, it means that the child is too bad, too bad, too weak, but as a parent, it is impossible to say that. Because if a child is born and is not accepted by anyone, including his or her parents, just because they have weaknesses, difficulties, or certain disabilities, who else will they be close to, believe in? Think, love unconditionally in this life or that? They will know where to trust to lean, to learn, to be sheltered when facing the storms of life, to plant seeds of love in their souls.

A being born with too many choices – always giving priority to me, I only accept my good child, my child is good, my child is beautiful, that’s not necessarily a true birth real. Anyone can do it like that.

When I became a parent, heaven and earth gave me the ability to endure and accept children, to sacrifice for them to the point of endless, unconditional. There are many parents in this life who have done that. “Only the people below are the ones that are above” – ​​it was very emotional to hear that saying of Mr. Nguyen Du.

It’s not because I’m a parent, a person of great importance, with great age, and life experience, that I will become a superior first. The one above, according to Nguyen Du, is the person who must be able to tolerate – that is, embrace all the difficulties, mistakes and weaknesses of the people below without exclusion, avoidance, banishment or hatred.

When you make a mistake or have too many difficulties that you can’t handle yourself, you are already suffering. Children have to fight both with themselves and with both parents so that parents don’t criticize, condemn, accuse them, don’t suffer, hurt about themselves, don’t be ashamed and guilty. for myself.

Children are just like us. We have had difficulties, we have suffered, but we still have to deal with our superiors, with our parents. Having an extra connection must be powerful. As a precious and sacred emotional relationship, we must always support us and always be on our side to be ready to embrace our shortcomings and support us to help us overcome difficulties and obstacles.

Why sacrifice so much because we have also given our best values ​​to our loved ones. Our parents have inherited a lot of values ​​from us, just as we have inherited a lot of values ​​from our children.

Children have given their whole youth to us, we enjoy the most, so why don’t we dare to sacrifice for our children in the true sense of a parent.

Of course, it takes a lot of practice to accept something that is too difficult or bad. We have to change ourselves a lot but we have to have a right perception, an opinion that somehow no matter how bad our child is, our child is still our child. I will find a way to accept the child.

Maybe I can’t accept it now, I still have a hard time, this is too big, too surprising for me, so I say to my child, “Dear, parents can’t accept you for a while. You can give your parents a few days or weeks to learn to accept it. And parents believe that they can do it because they love their children very much.”

Parents want to give the best for their children, whereby mom will be willing to change herself somehow. Parents will expand the capacity of their hearts so that they are not shy, not ashamed, not afraid of others laughing.

In the end, parents only want their children to be peaceful and happy, to walk firmly in this life. If the child’s difficulty can be measured by a hand, then the parents’ heart capacity must be one and a half gangs or two gangs.

The question is that we really want to expand the capacity of our hearts, but how can parents do that?

We must believe in the nature of impermanence.

In Melbourne Australia, there is a saying that I like very much, which is “if you don’t like the weather at the moment, wait a little longer”, because the weather in Melbourne is constantly changing.

Therefore, we also believe that circumstances will change, people will change. Let’s wait patiently and believe that we will also change in perception and emotion. Or this disapproval will eventually weaken and disappear to make room for understanding and love. Parents should be aware that their children make mistakes, clumsy, and regret, but at the same time, their children also bring them wonderful and happy things. When I look at my child, I see such a large whole, I will no longer focus on my child’s difficulties, so that I will be less resentful, less demanding, and less pressured.

Parents often do not need to do anything, just silently observe, send love and faith, then the child will solve it by himself. The silence back with loving eyes will be a great inspiration for the children.

The unconditional acceptance of parents for their children is one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children at any time. Especially when children have difficulties, hardships, and stumbles on the road of life.

Parents, please return to the right role of the parent that heaven and earth have bestowed on you.

Monk Thich Minh Niem – Radio Bringing children into life