My husband and I have been together for nearly 10 years, just married, now have a daughter in middle school. From the day he fell in love, he was extremely domineering.
I am over 40 years old, longing to have more children but do not dare for economic reasons and my husband almost never supports his wife with housework or childcare. Sometimes the whole year, he only moves on the last day of the year. He was extremely fastidious, rebuking his wife and children with every word he said, every sentence he couldn’t hear was immediately scolding me.
We loved each other for nearly 10 years before we got married, from the day we fell in love until now, her husband is extremely domineering. When he first graduated, he said he wanted his wife to stay at home to take care of the family and children, so I didn’t go to work right away. This view was also supported by my biological father because at that time he loved him very much, and the two talked very well. Then my husband and I were not stable, so I went to work. Husband does not want to make money, whatever he does, he will come wherever he goes. For the past few years, I have had to take care of myself with my salary as an office worker.
Husband is terribly jealous. From the day I fell in love until now, I hardly have any friends, only a few close friends, but also have little contact. I’m not allowed to watch football, I don’t have to look away from topless men, and I don’t have any friends of the opposite sex. Before, I could bear it because at that time I thought my husband loved me very much, my world only needed my husband, and later on, my children. I think our love will continue to grow old and not change, no matter how people cheat, they can’t be my husband.
A few years ago I found out he was flirting with female friends. My love for my husband is therefore not much. I’m tired of family life. The husband goes to work all day, at night he rests his feet on the chair and waits for his wife to prepare dinner. On weekends he sleeps or goes out, not caring about housework or thinking about ways to earn extra income. Two years ago, I was about to break up, having been separated for almost a year. My husband took the child out to convince me to come back and raise the child together. I believe he has changed more or less, turns out I was wrong. He was still lazy, scolding children. I gave suggestions many times but was powerless because my husband’s argument was always right. Debating what is not satisfactory is that he is ready to scold me with the most harsh and vulgar words, while he is an educated man and loves to read books.
Up to now, I feel so bored with family life, I just want to get out. Before I didn’t get out because the child was still not fully grown, my biological parents didn’t support the divorce, I couldn’t understand it anymore. Colleagues who knew about it all advised me to break up. Husband also wants to control his wife, I have to know wherever I go. The agency organized the vacation, I was not allowed to go alone, my husband told me to let the children grow up and thought that the work was not so hard that I had to go on a vacation. I’m tired of arguing because I don’t want my children to hear their parents arguing again. My husband also has a bad habit of being violent, recently it has gotten better, but when we argue, he always wants to jump in and hit me, so I’m afraid I don’t dare to tense up.
What should I do now? Should you try to be patient for your child to grow up? I’m preparing for the third grade exam. Recently, I’m so tired, bored, with no way out, on the one hand I want to move things back to my biological parents’ house, on the other hand, I think I love my child and want to take care of it. He still goes to school where we live. Am I weak? What to do now? What kind of mental problems does such a husband have? Looking forward to your advice.
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