Why is it difficult for you to ‘break up’ with the person you love?

The brain “makes it difficult” for you to forget someone – Photo: GETTY IMAGES

Dr. Helen E.Fisher – a biological anthropologist and senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute in New York (USA) – has studied many scientific characteristics in love from 2005 to present.

When analyzing the brains of the volunteers, Fisher found that there is an area of ​​the brain associated with hunger and thirst in the VTA region that is also activated when you are in love.

This also makes being in love but forced to forget your “one” will be very difficult. Because resisting the feeling of missing “other half” is like trying not to feel thirsty even though you really want to drink water.

In addition, Fisher also found that in addition to the dopamine system being activated in the brain of the lover, there is another brain area called the scorpion nucleus that is strongly affected.

This part will also activate with some addictive behaviors such as smoking, gambling… It will be signaled and “glow” in people who are just starting to fall in love, creating a feeling of addiction in love.

Therefore, “end of love” is similar to “detox”. According to Fisher, to forget someone you are in love with, basically if you can’t see anything related to them such as letters, gifts, social media accounts, etc., it will make it easier for you to forget them.

This is similar to quitting smoking, you should at least remove all cigarettes, ashtrays out of the house.

Positive thinking helps heal after a breakup – Photo: GETTY IMAGES

Sandra Langeslag, an associate professor of psychological science at the University of Missouri-St. (USA) says it’s best to let the emotional healing process happen naturally. There are many cases of trying to “smear” their ex to forget them, which only backfires.

From the data in the surveys, Sandra Langeslag suggests that the average time it takes to truly “forget” a person and heal a hurt feeling is 6 months. This process will vary depending on a number of factors such as the personality of each person or the length of the relationship.

Sandra Langeslag says you should think about the things that make you happy rather than the person you’re trying to stop loving. This makes you feel that there is still a lot of happiness around you, so you will feel more in love with life.

According to Damon L. Jacobs – marriage and family therapist in New York (USA), relationships, whether love or friendship, contribute to the energy, joy and fulfillment of each person. People.

However, it is important to remember that it is not the only source. If you are aware of this, you will accept the pain of a broken love more comfortably and positively, according to Damon L. Jacobs.