99% of parents don’t know how serious the harm of pushing their children is!
It can be said that this is a “training” method, not a method of teaching children anymore, also because of its harshness, it will greatly affect the psychology of children after adulthood.
Every time he saw his two-year-old daughter clumsily pick up a small spoon to eat each spoon, it took 5 minutes to take a bite, Lam couldn’t help but began to urge her daughter to “hurry up, hurry up”, if If prompting doesn’t work, she will take the initiative to take the spoon and feed it to the baby.
Every morning at 6:30, I am very frustrated, it is almost late for school, but my five-year-old son is still “slowly” composing his schoolbag. Normally, I would gently push him, but it hardly worked, so every day sending him to school was like going to war.
In the children’s park, a child kept looking at the ball hanging on the rope, brought back and forth… The mother next to him angrily said, “What’s fun in playing the same game over and over? If you keep playing this game, you won’t have time to play other things!” After saying that, the mother also lost patience, immediately took the child’s hand and dragged her away. As for the child, he kept fidgeting and nodding his head to look at that toy.
The scene of urging, even doing things for children, is not too strange for today’s parents anymore, is it? Adults always want children to act at their own pace, in their own way. But in reality, the pace of life of adults and children is very different. Children have their own rhythm, if we want to be good for them, we should follow this natural physiological rhythm. If the child’s life rhythm is too fast, it will affect the body’s hormone secretion process, causing damage to both physical and mental health.
Why do parents keep pushing their children? Because parents feel their child is too slow, affecting their own rhythm, they often want to interfere with their child’s rhythm.
Education experts say that today’s parents completely do not care about the rhythm of their children because they subconsciously always put themselves first, wanting their children to be in tune with them. Parents often think that we are a family, a whole, so it is natural to have a rhythm of life in harmony with each other.
This ingrained subconscious is what prevents parents from paying more attention to the special feelings of their children. The second is because they think that if children’s daily behavior is too slow, the future when they grow up will also be.
This can make children perceive themselves as a slow person, affecting them when they grow up carrying a psychological ghost. Sadly, most parents don’t see this, all they see is the increasingly fierce competition in the future, so they have become anxious, sensitive, and full of confusion. . Therefore, they automatically give themselves the right to “train” their children harshly.
Please respect my “rhythm”!
Respect children’s slowness!
Urging children is a normal phenomenon in life, has the effect of educating children and helping them adapt to the outside world. But when urges appear too much in a child’s way of teaching, it often indicates a parent’s own anxiety. Parents who can’t get over these worries pass them on to their children, regardless of how terrible the harm will be.
Often urged by parents, children will wonder, am I wrong? Am I really that useless? The anxiety “given” by parents will also grow, those negative things will help to develop hateful thoughts about parents in children. At that time, children from “naturally slow” will become “intentionally slow” to annoy parents.
Of course, putting all the blame on the parents like that is not fair, because parents are also under great pressure. In today’s social situation, the fast pace of life is also not good for the physical and mental health of adults, so finding an appropriate rhythm to care for children is essential. .
If we often feel that we are forced to speed up our lives, are tired but can’t stop, it is because we subconsciously have certain fears that need to be healed, such as: : childhood fear of elders or teachers, fear of death, fear of negative states and depression, fear of emptiness and confusion, etc.
Educating children is a long process, we have to know how to accumulate small water sources, how can we create a big stream without accumulating small water sources? The psychosocial rush has influenced parental consciousness, causing us to rush to see the results, often ignoring the importance of the process. For children’s long-term development, introducing competition into their lives too early is more destructive than constructive. Children who grow up in an atmosphere of anxiety and competition are prone to feelings of helplessness, low self-esteem, and psychological imbalance.
As parents, we must know how to slow down with our children. Doing so is not only for the quality of family life, but it is also decisive for the child’s development.
A very famous Taiwanese writer, named Long Yingtai, as a mother, she respects the rhythm of her children very much, and with her wisdom, she resolved the conflict between personal career and motherhood, which has moved and inspired countless readers.
She wrote in the book “Child, Take Your Time” that: “I, sitting on the steps where the sun is shining, watch the child with clear eyes intently doing one thing. Yes, I am ready. I’ve been waiting for you all my life just for him to successfully tie a bow with his little five-year-old hand. Baby, slowly, slowly…”
at Blogtuan.info – Source: cafebiz.vn – Read the original article here