9 daily sentences parents often say but are highly damaging

1. Don’t do it… otherwise

Every parent has once threatened to make their children obey. If you said you would do something when you don’t listen, then do it. Otherwise, the child will realize that the parent is just making a joke and gradually no longer respect the parent’s words.

2. I don’t have anything in this house

Some parents believe their children will not have their own personality until they can support themselves financially. So, before the child makes money, they ignore the child’s opinions, feelings, and needs.

The notion that one will be nobody until they make their own money has spawned a generation of workaholics.

Children from childhood are instilled with the idea that nothing in their parents’ house will ever feel safe. Their childhoods are stolen, depression, anxiety, guilt fatigue, shame and damaged self-esteem.

Such an attitude will make a teenager want to quickly leave his parents. Even if they only have a small, deprived room, even in a dormitory, they still have the illusion that it is their “private” place. When they do, they will rush to work to earn money because that is the only way to feel meaningful.

3. Adults are talking, I go away

For many parents, children are always innocent children, no matter how old they are, whether 5 or 15 years old. They assume that children can’t have serious conversations with adults and that it’s too early for them to express their personal views on anything. These parents don’t see their child as an individual and the child feels it too.

Gradually, when they grow up, they will always be shy to express their opinions or confide sad stories with adults. They will think that their stories are just trivial stories and do not deserve attention. This will prevent the child from demonstrating his or her abilities in academics as well as building a successful career.

4. No matter how many times I say it, it’s still the same

If parents often utter this statement, gradually the child will either ignore what the parent says or become rebellious, lacking in a sense of responsibility and independence due to being reminded too much by the parents. Blindly nagging and preaching makes children feel untrustworthy. Parents infuse their children with their anxiety and pressure, which is a kind of fake control.

Therefore, if it is a small problem, why not accept it or ignore it; If it is a big problem that needs to be fixed, listen to the child’s thoughts and feelings, discuss together and find a solution.

5. I’m here, daddy’s gone!

Every parent has had to go home from the playground or park, but their children still want to continue playing. However, if you threaten to leave your child, your child will feel insecure. The child suddenly realizes that a parent can leave him, no matter how scary and dangerous the world is.

Growing up, your child is prone to making many mistakes in difficult and stressful situations.

5. You ruin everything

Very few people can do something well when it’s completely new or they’ve only tried it a few times. It’s normal to make mistakes, especially with kids. It is not normal for parents to place responsibility on their children when they make mistakes. After all, if a parent doesn’t teach their child, it’s not the child’s fault.

Hearing the phrase “Whatever you do will fail” every day will cause a child to stop trying to succeed. Children may even see themselves as the source of all the problems parents face. In their heads, the thought that they are not good enough and do not deserve to be loved or have the right to live will rekindle in their heads.

6. If mom doesn’t remember, then pretend it didn’t happen

Denial of facts is seen as a form of psychological violence. However, in childhood, many of us often hear the phrase, “It’s all your imagination! It’s not like that” from our parents, who don’t want to admit their mistakes.

As a result, the children began to question their own perceptions. It negatively affects their ability to trust themselves, because even parents make them think they remember things that “never happened”.

7. Look at people’s children

Children will be born with low self-esteem, disappointment, difficulty accepting themselves, or excessive behaviors to attract the attention of parents, forming a vicious circle. Remember that what children want is the affirmation and approval of their parents.

Each child is unique, instead of focusing on the child’s shortcomings and scrutinizing, it is better to discover their strengths and encourage them to develop them.

8. Parents work hard for their children, but children are ungrateful

Parents work hard for their children to have a better life. For many people, the child is the center of their universe, the whole world revolves around the child.

They don’t always need to pay off this debt to their parents for the things they’ve invested in. After all, it is the decision of the parent, the child does not choose.

When parents say that, children always think the burden of responsibility on their shoulders is too great and feel guilty for not being up to expectations. Your child will feel like he’s living “on a loan,” instead of enjoying life.

9. Why do you always make me mad?

The parent’s loss of emotional control leaves the child with a lot of resentment and insecurity. No child in the world is perfect, no matter what he does wrong at this time, believe that he is not trying to provoke but just limited ability. In the face of children’s non-cooperation, the calmer, more understanding parents are, the more understanding and tolerant of their children, the better the educational effect.