Pity your preschooler is constantly bullied by you, is it true that your parents instigate ‘hit back to defend yourself’?

Ms. Nguyen Thuy Lan (Bac Tu Liem district, Hanoi) said: “My son is 3 years old this year, he has been going to school for nearly a month now. Recently, she came home and often told stories of being beaten by a classmate, snatching toys, even pulling her blanket while sleeping.

I talked to the homeroom teacher of the class and found out that he was a very naughty boyfriend, who often teased friends, so he was often reminded by the teacher.”

Message from a female parent exchanging with a teacher about her child being teased in class.

In the same situation, Ms. Tran Thi Hai (Hai Ba Trung district, Hanoi) also shared that she was annoyed when her child was often bullied by a classmate. In the afternoons coming home from work, looking at the scratches on the face, on the hands and feet of the children, she felt sorry again.

“I told her when she was beaten by a friend, she had to tell her. But my child said, told her, but then he was still teased by the other friend, scratching his limbs.

I had to be very calm and try to find out why my child was often beaten by friends, along with asking the teacher to talk to the parents of the child or hit my child to find out the cause, “said Phuong. .

How to handle when children are constantly being bullied by friends at school is a headache for many parents, especially parents with children of preschool age.

According to Ms. Le Thi Lieu – Principal of Cay Mushroom kindergarten class (Hanoi), at preschool age, each child’s personality is different, maybe when at home he promises not to hit his friends but when he comes to class, he reacts accordingly. instinct is to still hit you despite being reminded by the teacher.

“Many parents see their children being beaten up, feel sorry for their children and have the mentality to tell their children that “you hit me, I’ll hit you back” but this doesn’t work.

Because, to deal with violence, we don’t have a universal way for all children, but consider what personality type their child has and then see what response is best for them.

If the child is forced to follow the parents’ way, but the child is not physically and mentally capable of that solution, the child will be under a lot of pressure”, Ms. Lieu said.

Children being bullied in class cause many parents headaches. (illustration)

According to this principal, many 8X mothers and fathers think that when their children are bullied, only reporting to the teachers is a useless solution, so they should switch to teaching their children that “you hit your child, you hit back, Although you may not be able to win, at least let the opponent know that you are not easily bullied.” That means parents teach their children to hit back at anyone who bullies them.

“Violence is never a good way to solve problems. Most likely, it will increase the tension in the relationship and cause the child to fall into isolation. Not only that, but this also makes the child more inclined to think that violence can solve everything and to use violence in all cases.

Parents should guide children to use words, making use of the power of language is an effective solution.

For example, when you snatch a toy, tell your friend “I played this toy first, why did you jerk” and then ask the teacher’s intervention.

In particular, parents should not try to interfere violently in their children’s problems. Instead of going to class to scold the child who bullied your child or teach your child to hit a friend, take back your toy, you should only consult with the teacher in charge of the class so that she can pay attention to your child’s problem. As for the problems between the children, let them deal with it on their own.

Parents are just the person beside them to guide and motivate their children. Not only is this good for your child’s growth, but it’s also better in a bullying situation.

The most important thing is still the parent’s upbringing and correction, teach your children lessons about friendship and loving relationships so that the child’s soul is always in a good direction, helping the child to be confident in the face of difficulties. towel later.

Most importantly, teach your child some self-defense techniques and especially build confidence in the face of bullies.

In addition, I think the understanding of parents with teachers is extremely important. The class is crowded, many children are very naughty and hyperactive, it is difficult to avoid conflicts between children. Therefore, in order to minimize problems between children, schools should always focus on understanding children’s psychology to have effective teaching methods,” said Ms. Lieu.

Hoang Thanh