How to forget the old love that you still love? -Young people

Breaking up isn’t just about ending a relationship. It can destroy your self-worth and make you feel lonely. It can be a devastating blow to your mental health, especially if you still have feelings for your ex. But there are ways you can move on and get out of your ex.

It sounds easy and even petty to suggest that you should think about your mental health when your mood is at its worst and deeply vulnerable. It feels like your whole life has come to an end, that all your hopes and dreams have gone to dust.

Maybe all you want is to be alone and find out what happened. Perhaps you need to analyze all your actions and ask yourself if there is anything else you can do to be able to be with the person you still love.

But here’s the inescapable truth: Never take an objective look, more so when you’re in love with your ex. From “what happened” to “it’s all my fault” is a quick and painful journey. It was a spiral going inwards that aggravated the wound.

The only way out of it is to move on. While it may sound impossible, here are five steps you can start taking right now.

1. Cut off all contact (Both direct and indirect)

For the sake of your physical and mental health, this is the first thing you must do. You don’t have to know where they are or who they’re with. Cut off all contact with your ex.

Yes, it can be painful to leave the life of someone you once loved so much. But the priority now is your own journey and there is no place for them. It’s time to focus on yourself and not your ex’s life.

You should also know that there is no way you can be friends with them anymore. Regardless of whether you have read or seen such things, it rarely happens in real life. It can be a painful and ultimately futile attempt to revive and sustain a relationship that has ended. Simply put, you can’t be friends with your ex. Maybe in a few years, when both of you have entered a new and happier environment, perhaps you can start a conversation again and even become acquaintances. But right now, you shouldn’t try to be in their life anymore.

So get out of the social network or chat group that has them. But proactively disconnecting is only part of the solution. You also shouldn’t try to get close to them passively. You should not check their activities through social networks or mutual friends.

Remember, any direct or indirect communication with them will trigger memories of the past and even dreams of the future. Those are the things that will pull you back when you should be focusing on moving on.

2. Forgive the past

In a word, breakups often make people feel regret and anger. You’re constantly thinking about what you could have done, or you’re angry at your or your ex’s behavior, or even there are circumstances that force you to act in a way you don’t want to.

The more you think about it, the more you get pulled into that vortex. If the incident involved a betrayal, things could get pretty messy, leaving you feeling regretful and angry every time you think about it.

Emotions become intense when you realize that there is nothing else you can do. That creates a vicious cycle of regret – anger – helplessness. This can hurt if you’re still in love with your ex. In such a situation, you will be willing to overlook their flaws and find the flaws in your personality. That will be your hindrance.

The solution to that is not to let go of the past. You will never forget such a deeply emotional experience. What you have to do is face and forgive your past. You need to objectively report what happened, either in a diary or through a narrative.

Then you need to forgive your ex’s actions and, importantly, your own. This is not a sign of weakness but of maturity and strength. By forgiving each individual and their actions, you are not tolerating them. You’re just saying that you won’t have any negative feelings towards them anymore.

This is not a one day thing. Even if you forgive yourself or your ex today, chances are, something can make them remember it tomorrow. You will have to consciously forgive again until you begin to recall the events without any underlying feelings of remorse or hatred.

3. Be realistic

There are two aspects of a relationship: fact and fiction. Unfortunately, after a breakup, people tend to embrace fantasies more than reality.

This fantasy encompasses both the relationship and the individual involved. So when you say you want to get back and be with your ex because it’s the most beautiful and fulfilling part of your life, you’re not reflecting objectively on the relationship. You are just describing a fictional version of it.

Because if it was perfect, it wouldn’t be over. Everything happens for a reason. When you look back at your relationship, you will only look at the good parts and ignore all the bad parts.

The painful parts of a relationship – and the individual responsible for it – can fade away when you “magnify” the good. To improve your mental health, what you have to do is reflect on the reality of your love life.

There may be a joy in it but there will also be an unmistakable pain. That should give you the big picture of what you just went through. It will also help you see the real version of your ex.

For the process to be impactful and lasting, it’s a good idea to jot down your thoughts. Writing down all aspects of the relationship will help you form a true picture. It will also ensure that you won’t draw any more imaginary dreams tomorrow. When you write down how it really is, the process frees you up to move on.

4. Understand that it’s natural to still love your ex

It’s a problem if you suddenly feel hatred for your ex. It’s quite normal to have mixed emotions, hating them one second and then loving them the next. Our emotions don’t always follow a straight line. There were ups and downs and some nasty twists and turns.

So if you find yourself falling for your ex, don’t blame yourself for not being able to move on. Those are the feelings left over from your relationship. What you once felt for them is real and deep and it’s not easy to get rid of that side of you when a breakup happens.

In fact, you should tell yourself it’s not a bad thing. The fact that you are still in love just proves that you are human, capable of giving and receiving love.

But what you should also tell yourself is that it’s a different kind of love. It is an emotional state that has developed and matured, which is different from the possessive aspect of romantic love. This is a story of nostalgia and acceptance.

Think of it this way. It is the love you feel for a place you may have visited in the past. That trip was good. But you don’t have any plans to go back and relive it. You are ready for new adventures.

5. Don’t forget to love yourself

What is the strongest indicator that your mental health is above average? That’s when you learn to love yourself. More precisely, you have understood, accepted, forgiven, and sympathized with yourself. The reason it’s a good reflection of your mental health is because it’s one of the hardest things to do. Especially if you’re about to leave a relationship with an ex you’re still in love with.

During this stage, you are very vulnerable, you will always wonder if you are worthy of love and if you will ever find someone like your ex. The answer is don’t go outward, but strengthen your inner core.

It’s important to change the way you talk to yourself. Get rid of any negative words and remind yourself that you have everything to light up someone’s life and in turn, that someone will light up yours.

The fact that it didn’t happen to your ex doesn’t mean it doesn’t reflect on you. It was due to special circumstances. You will continue to attract love because you are full of qualities that draw people towards you.

In short, moving on from an old relationship you still love is important for your mental health. It’s a process that will have good days and bad days. But what you have to do is remind yourself that things are getting better every day. And that you are letting go of the past, getting out of your emotional baggage and stepping out of it stronger and healthier.