There is a saying that parents often say, which can put the burden on their children’s future
When I was still in college, I used to organize an overnight camp with friends, sitting together and chatting around a warm campfire. Just before dawn, a classmate who had been quiet until now suddenly spoke up and told us about his childhood.
From the moment he became conscious, all he could remember were pictures of his parents arguing. He has an older sister, whenever his parents quarrel, he and his sister will hide under the table, hugging each other tightly, curling up like a ball. When the argument was over, Dad would always slam the door and leave, and Mom would sit in the rubble, sobbing.
When he was a child, he and his sister would often crawl out and rush into his mother’s arms to comfort him, and his mother would cry anyway and say: “If it weren’t for the children, I would have divorced long ago.”
When they grow up, they don’t do that anymore. After their parents quarreled, they would just quietly clean the house and give their mother a hot towel and a cup of warm water. When he was at home, he always felt strangely cold. They were always nervous, not knowing when their parents would quarrel again.
After his sister entered puberty, she also became more rebellious and frantic, like a copy of her violent father. Since middle school, she has started playing with the gangsters in school. Always wearing heavy makeup, messy hair, chewing gum, skipping school and refusing to come home. When she was in 11th grade, he once came home from school and saw her hiding in a corner of the house crying until both eyes were swollen. He asked her why she was crying, but she refused to answer.
The next day, she was still lying on the bed with a blank expression on her face. That night, his mother sternly brought out a bowl of chicken soup, which he wanted to eat, but she did not allow it, saying she cooked it for her sister, making him feel very sorry. A few weeks later, his sister had completed the procedures for leaving school, leaving home to go to the south to work. Since then, he’s lived alone in a cold, mortuary house, facing his scowling, living mother who seems dead.
When he was in 10th grade, once because the food was too salty, his father started getting angry again and threw plates. At that moment, he suddenly moved hands and feet with his father. He held his hands behind his back and pressed them to the ground, his mother was so scared that she knelt beside him, trying to pull his hand away.
He was originally a child who was always afraid of everything, an introvert, timid and taciturn. But that time, he was like a crazy lion, bloodshot eyes, hoarse voice asked: “Why don’t you get a divorce? Why don’t your parents get a divorce? Why don’t you get a divorce?”.
The mother with tears in her eyes said: “It’s all for me, so I can have a family.”
That day, the person who slammed the door and left was him, not his father. He hid in the shade of the tree in front of the house, sat until dawn, he vowed not to stay in that house again.
He knew that in this age of strength, without education and experience, he couldn’t move even an inch in life. Because of that, he worked hard to study, and eventually turned from an unknown kid to a scholar.
When taking the university entrance exam, he filled in his wish that schools in other cities, as long as he could leave as far away as possible, any school would do. After that, he was accepted into a university thousands of kilometers away. During his four years of college, he used long distances as an excuse not to return home.
On the phone he learned that his parents were still arguing. But this time, he was more mature and said: “I’m independent. Don’t use me as an excuse. If your parents want a divorce, just get a divorce.”
During his college years, he worked very hard and made constant efforts to enrich himself, actively participating in club activities, as a trainee. His efforts finally paid off, after graduating, he stayed at the school to take office.
The most terrible thing for children, is probably the psychological trauma caused by the family. There are people who are conscious, self-healing and overcome that dark period. There are also people like the other sister, bogged down down the slope, destroying their own life.
Because he was highly educated, he also knew that he had a psychological trauma, so he read a lot of psychological literature, hoping to improve himself.
While he was determined to change himself, he also tried to love someone, he even tried to convince himself to do the thing he was most afraid of, which was to get married and have children. He asked himself to be a good husband and father like in books or written, but in fact, he never understood what love is?
After growing up, he had long understood that his sister went to work because of abortion. Once she got to the south, her life was basically a loop like this: falling in love, having an abortion, being abandoned, then falling in love again, having an abortion, being abandoned… Until it couldn’t be any more, then she also gave birth to a child, then both mother and daughter were abandoned. Then she returned home, threw the baby in her mother’s care, and then disappeared again.
He couldn’t convince himself to forgive his parents. They always say that it’s because of me, but let me live in hell on earth, life is better than death, in fact, it’s selfish, it’s hurt, not love!
Children have unconsciously become an innocent white sheet of paper that helps their parents hide their real problem, which is weakness and selfishness that they dare not face. Children become innocent scapegoats, they have to shoulder responsibilities that should have been borne by their parents. It’s always easier to blame someone else than to take the blame yourself.
In the world, after all, how many parents are saying every day: “For the sake of the children”.
For the sake of my children, I try not to divorce!
I work hard just for my kids!
For the sake of children, I grind my teeth to save!
For the sake of the child, I bowed my head in frustration!
There are others who are more outrageous, wiping their tears and saying: “Back then, it was because of you. My parents endured so much hardship, so much guilt, so many lost opportunities just because of you!”.
Say a word”because of me“It’s easy, it’s easy to talk, it’s bright and right, it’s the face of a night animal. As an adult, but you don’t know how to take responsibility for your own choices, every time you open your mouth, you say because children, letting a small child shoulder the responsibility that you should have, letting your child feel that they owe you a lot.Those are the most “horrible” parents in the world.
at Blogtuan.info – Source: Afamily.vn – Read the original article here