Students burst into tears because of pressure for grades, parents don’t understand

At the forum “What I want to say” organized by the Central Team Council in collaboration with other units this morning (May 17), a female student PTKA, Giang Vo Secondary School (Ba Dinh, Hanoi) burst into tears when sharing Share about the learning pressure you have endured.

Before the COVID-19 epidemic, PTKA was a good student with good academic results and actively participated in activities. “Many friends say I’m perfect. However, I’m not happy because being perfect means the end. I still want to be able to get better every day.

The most explosive time is the online learning period when the COVID-19 epidemic lasts. I fall into anxiety, stress and lose inspiration to study and activities in class and school. Poor academic results, pent-up emotions. Although my parents discussed and offered many solutions, I still felt a lack of sharing and empathy. Fortunately, going to school directly helped reduce her stress.”said KA.

Like PTKA, D.XT from Giang Vo Secondary School also admits that she has faced many negative pressures in her life. “I am a person who is quite sensitive to words, vulnerable and lost. In one time being scolded by a teacher for not taking adequate notes, I felt that she misunderstood me and her words like shards of glass pierced my heart.At that time, I felt hurt and stressed because of those words.

The second time, I was disparaged by my classmates about my appearance. There was a time when I was just lying in bed crying and thinking I wanted to get out of this world. Fortunately, the teacher promptly encouraged and taught me how to love myself. I realized that each person is an individual, with strengths and weaknesses, thanks to that, my feelings have improved day by day.”I shared D.XT.

Dr. Nguyen Thanh Son, Vice Chairman of the Hanoi Association of Educational Psychology, said that for students, the biggest pressure is from family. Every parent wants their child to be good, but don’t complain about your parents, because that’s a very legitimate wish. However, that desire is invisible and puts pressure on children because parents do not fully understand their children. Any desire must come from the actual ability of the children.

The second pressure is the magnetic field. Every school has standards and requires students to bring about the best for their school, which is also very normal. Students must adapt themselves to the requirements of the school.

Next is the pressure from life. Children today are exposed to so much information in a day, many pleasures like technology games that sometimes the bad attracts more easily than the good. It’s not easy for me to win.

Finally, the pressure from the children themselves. In the past, overcoming difficulties to rise to success, but now society’s life is very high and there will be a part that has to overcome happiness to succeed, which will be much more difficult than overcoming difficulties because being too happy will no longer have the motivation. to strive. Winning yourself will be even more difficult.

“I think the children have to calm down, fully see the problem to see where they are being pressured from and find a solution. If there is pressure from parents, they must boldly talk and present their wishes to their father. mother let them align accordingly”, experts say.

Students lack a sharing forum

Le Thi Thao, Deputy Head of the National Switchboard for Child Protection 111, said that during the period of school closures due to the prolonged COVID-19 epidemic, the switchboard received many phone calls from students aged from 2 to 3. 10 to 15 share about mental health, psychophysiology. The number of calls during this period increased by 1.5 to 2 times compared to the time before the epidemic.

According to her, the reason is due to long online learning time, not being able to go to school, reduced level of social communication, no physical activity, entertainment … leading to psychological inhibition. In particular, the conflicts between family members make the children tired and not listened to. Many parents still ask and talk to each other every day, but sometimes this sharing is not the right way, the right method makes the children feel forced, gradually narrowing communication with parents.

Most calls to the switchboard begin with a cry. The children feel stuck because their parents do not listen, no one understands, so they seek help from the psychological counselors of the 111 switchboard.

“The switchboard has received many calls from students cutting their own hands and tormenting themselves to bring them a sense of mental comfort without being fully aware of the danger of their behavior. Many children feel that life is not good. meaning, without dreams, ambitions or goals, rather, indeterminate and lostI just want my parents to listen to me, understand me, follow my hobbies and not be pressured by my final exam score.”Deputy Head of the National Switchboard for Child Protection 111 said.

Ms. Thao added that there are about 13 million pupils and students in the whole country, while the number of psychologists and volunteers of the 111 switchboard is limited, not enough to meet all calls, even though they work all the time. wattage. “Students have very few channels through which they can share their aspirations and seek help from adults. They need more playgrounds to be able to relieve economic pressure.” she emphasized.