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Do all happy pictures on the internet contain pain?

I feel like every day I try to suppress my feelings of pain and hatred, but given the opportunity, it will explode many times more violently.

Don't be in a hurry to look at the sparkling pictures of happiness and envy (Artwork)
Do not rush to look at the sparkling happy pictures on social networks and be envious (Artwork)

My life changed from that moment: I discovered an intimate text message between my husband and another girl.

5 years ago, I am still a woman who loves her husband, is always happy and proud of her family. Parents on both sides are healthy, loving and caring for their children. Both husband and wife’s jobs are stable, although they do not have a high income, it is still enough to live comfortably, not too sparingly. And we have a lovely obedient boy and girl.

I always believe that my husband is a loving and responsible man for his wife and children. He lives very properly, does not drink, does not gather friends; At the end of work, I will go home and in the evening teach my children to study. I used to think that even if 99% of men in this world cheat, my husband will definitely be among the remaining 1%. But perhaps the more you believe in life, the more you expect, the greater the pain you must receive.

At that time, I kept reading strange messages appearing on the screen of my husband’s phone. I asked many times, my husband denied: “Doesn’t matter, don’t be suspicious anymore!”. After that, my husband deleted those messages. And all I can find out is that my husband introduced a friend’s sister to the company. She is not used to working, so she asked him a few things.

I felt a little ripple in my heart, because before that he always shared everything at work with me, why did he have to delete the message and use the excuse that he was afraid that I would misunderstand. Since there is no proof, I don’t know how to retort my husband.

Until one day, a message appeared in the middle of the night: “Stop it, brother. I don’t want to be like this anymore.” I stood still, calling my husband up. That’s when he couldn’t deny it anymore but still insisted that “nothing goes off the mark”.

I’ve been going crazy since that moment, especially before my husband’s ambiguous attitude and refusal to acknowledge. I want to know what’s behind them, what they’ve done to each other, and in my head are thousands of questions about how my husband can betray me like that.

But in the face of all the struggles and accusations from me, my husband only said two sentences over and over again: “I’m sorry. Things are not as I thought.” I didn’t get any answers, didn’t know how to reassure myself, didn’t know how to trust my husband anymore.


Since then, I have lived in suspicion and suspicion, especially when the girl still works there and my husband cannot change jobs. I used to secretly dig through my husband’s phone but didn’t find anything. I think you deleted it all. Husband came home late from work, I inferred that he was busy with the other woman. Husband did not reply to messages immediately, I complained that he was busy texting with his mistress. I called to check where he was, tried to listen to see if there was anyone beside him. Seeing that my husband was indifferent to the children or went to work on Saturday, I dig up old stories, tell his mind to be busy with love, think of ways to deal with his wife…

I obsessively, every week, every month, constantly bring it up to torment my husband and force him to apologize. But even though I received an apology, I did not feel satisfied and calmed down a bit. Everything is still vague and unclear. As big as my faith in my husband was before, my doubts are now as great.

It happened 5 years ago, the divorce papers were written down countless times because both sides felt tired and exhausted, but in the end, I still cowardly put them away. The time that I can suppress the pain, try not to “cause” is longer, I only repeat it once a month, but really all the hurt, the fear is still there. I don’t know how much longer I will have to live with this pain, just know that there is a lump inside of me that cannot be completely removed surgically.

I still post family and husband pictures on Facebook. In front of my family and friends, I still behave like a happy wife. I find myself very good at covering up, but I also wonder if it’s just me? Are all the men in this world going to have a crush or have an affair? Is it true that behind the photos of a happy couple on Facebook is the pain of betrayal?

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