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3 ways to train children to be independent and self-disciplined before the age of 12

Among the countless things that need to be trained and taught to children, two factors of self-discipline and independence are extremely important, having a great impact on a child’s future. To train their children to these two virtues, parents need to pay attention to a few things below.

1. Cultivate good habits

Psychologist William James once said: “Sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny“.

This shows that if Practice good habits From a young age, it can change a person’s destiny.

Childhood is considered an important period for forming habits. The Italian educator, Dr. Maria Montessori once said: “3 – 6 years old is an important period in forming children’s awareness of rules and habits of behavior“.

Especially, before the age of 12, parents need to teach their children 2 habits of living and studying.

How to train children to be independent - Photo 1.


– Living habits

A reporter once interviewed Pyotr Leonidovich Kapitsa – winner of the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1978: “What is the most important stage in life?“.

Kapista replied: “Personally, I think the most important period in life is not college, nor lab, but kindergarten. Here, I learned a lot of things, such as not to take my things, wash my hands before eating, know how to clean up after playing…”.

People’s Daily once published an article comparing the age of children when doing housework. They point out that housework is an integral part of children’s maturation.

Looking at the successful children later, they all have good living habits. They not only love to study but also know how to do housework, are able to take care of themselves without their parents bothering them.

– Study habits

Every parent wants their children to study on their own so that they don’t always scold them. This requires a child from a young age to be trained by parents to love reading, eager to learn and discover new things. Only when children find a passion for books will they become more self-disciplined in learning.

Through reading books and stories told by parents, children will gain insights, and their personalities will gradually change. Reading will be like a seed, it will slowly sprout and grow in the child’s body. When children start school, they will be more active in learning knowledge.

2. Strength training

In just a few years of primary school, the gap between students will gradually widen. This is attributed to some children’s lack of learning tolerance.

Children in grades 1 and 2 have little knowledge and are relatively easy to understand, so they can learn without much effort. This is also an important period for children to form good study habits.

Before the age of 12, parents definitely need to practice these 3 things so that their children can be self-disciplined and independent, the future SUCCESS or FAIL depends on it - Photo 2.


This is the time when parents need to train their children to arrange a reasonable study time, persevere in reading habits, have the right study attitude, and think independently. Although these habits do not immediately see the difference, they will become evident later.

When children are in 3rd grade, 4th grade will move into autonomous learning. This is the time when pressure gradually appears, children easily feel tired. Parents will find their children lazy to do homework, difficult to concentrate. A reasonable allocation of study time will greatly help children’s learning.

Grade 5 is the final stage, children need to have goals and be more active in learning. During this period of acceleration, parents will see a huge gap between their children. A child with perseverance, effort, and good endurance will achieve high academic achievements.

3. Good character training

When educating children, parents need to take a long-term view. Parents should not focus too much on grades that neglect cultivating their child’s character.

Before the age of 12, parents definitely need to practice these 3 things so that their children can be self-disciplined and independent, the future SUCCESS or FAIL depends on it - Photo 3.


In Chinese history there was a famous scholar in the Western Han Dynasty named Kuang Heng. The story goes that, when he was young, Kuang Heng was a poor boy who was very studious. Because he did not have money to buy kerosene lamps, he drilled a neighbor’s wall to read books all night.

Because he loves reading too much, he agrees to work for a rich family with no salary requirement but must read precious books that the owner collects.

Later, Kuang Heng became a famous scholar, tutor to the crown prince and became a prime minister. Kuang Heng’s example of studiousness and hard work was handed down from generation to generation.

Hu Xueyan – the richest man in the Qing dynasty once said: “When we look at a child, we need to look at their character, not their abilities. A mean child, no matter how highly educated, will be a loser in this life“.

It can be said that it is not the academic results that determine a child’s life but their personality. The essence of education is to cultivate a good character for a child. no-no-go-to-go-lucky-or-bai-deu-thuoc-no-20220516154339332.chn

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