Wife talks a lot – VnExpress Life

“People say home is a place of peace after life’s storms. For me, in real life there are big storms, when coming home there are small storms,” ​​explained Mr. Tinh, 38, in Hai Ba Trung, Hanoi. go home.

When he got home, he went to the bathroom. Nguyen Thu Quynh, 36 years old, stood by the door and shouted: “Sit down and ‘solve’ to avoid spilling. Gather a lot of beer and then go home. discharge house”.

He laughed and let it go, but she continued: “When I change my shirt, I always put it in the laundry bag. Just spend it, no one can serve it”. “There, wearing slippers outside to go to the bathroom,” she looked down at his feet, her voice annoyed. The husband frowned: “Speak less, if you are tired at work, don’t, come home, your wife is still too boss”.

Seeing her husband’s reaction, Quynh released all her pent-up pressure because “not being at home is not tiring”. She told everything she did during the day. Let’s cook breakfast, take the older children to school, then take the younger ones to school; At noon, I go home to clean the house, do laundry, dry clothes, and trim trees. In the afternoon, she picked up the children, bathed the children, marketed, cooked rice…

“You can’t help me with anything, but I still show it to me. I don’t know what I owed you in my previous life, but this life is so miserable”, she sighed, picked up the rice bowl and put it down.

Recounting a typical afternoon at his home, the man concluded: “My wife’s mouth must be resting only when she’s sleeping.”

Master La Linh Nga, Director of the Center for Research and Application of Psychology-Education Science (Hanoi), said that in daily life, we easily meet women wife talks a lot like Ms. Thu Quynh.

According to Ms. Nga, Ms. Quynh belongs to the group of people who tend to “think what they say”, and think and speak at the same time, so sometimes the message is not focused, leading to long lines. Talking while being criticized also makes men angry.

It is not confirmed that his wife talks a lot, but Hoang Duc, 29 years old, from Hoang Mai, Hanoi, shared that he hates his wife’s “clinging to the ground” the most.

“Before telling me to clean the house, she would call me dirty, tell me last week that she told me to clean the toilet but I didn’t. I want my husband to come home from work early, don’t say it directly, keep scolding me for playing with drunks, all day loitering, seeing beer is blurry,” he said.

Once, when the couple was watching TV, Mr. Duc told his wife: “I see you have a similar body shape to her, buy these clothes to dress up”. Ms. An, his wife sighed: “I hate that my wife doesn’t dress well. I bring home 50 million VND every month like Uncle Minh next door, my wife dresses up right away”.

Then she began to compare her husband’s income with that of her colleague’s husband. During the outbreak of the epidemic, many businesses struggled and cut staff, she urged him to find a new job. Husband explained that the time was not appropriate. “Or maybe you already have a girlfriend at the company so the salary is low and you still don’t want to go?”, she deduced and brought up the story that he used to love people who confessed.

Mr. Duc is bored and does not want to watch movies anymore.

Speaker and journalist Hoang Anh Tu said that some women, because they expect too much from their husbands, turn themselves into wives of many things. Like Thu Quynh or An, they want their husbands to be clean, to become a man who makes a lot of money.” This is most likely because a woman’s maternal instinct is too great. They consider her husband as a child who needs to be cared for. teach, teach,” said Mr. Tu.

However, the man’s behavior is also the cause of turning his wife from a “knowing” woman to “a lot of things”. There are people who are husbands and fathers but are still like big children. Wife said the first time did not listen, must mention the second time, the third time to do. If there is a husband who is talked too much, he will sulk and do not touch the housework anymore.

Thu Quynh admits that sometimes she has a lot of things, but if she doesn’t say it, she’s afraid that her husband thinks she’s happy and idle at home. “I worked hard all day cleaning the house, but he didn’t encourage me or share anything. Sometimes I felt disrespected,” she said.

As the financial person in the family, Mr. Tinh left early, returned late, and did not help his wife with anything in the house. Many times, Quynh errantly cleans the house, and her husband wears shoes outside. One day, when she finished scrubbing the toilet, her husband “flushed” the urine, splashing it. At first, she mentioned, he said “I don’t see any smell, if you are uncomfortable, then the bucket of water will be poured for you, what is the fatigue”.

The second time, the third time, the husband still has some disability. Normally, Quynh would not finish, but when the epidemic broke out, her two children missed school, causing more housework. Her husband did wrong, she couldn’t hold back anymore, but became angry, pitiful, and then thought that he no longer loved and respected her.

According to research published in The Lancet in October 2021, the pandemic is increasing the severity of anxiety disorders and major depressive disorders globally, especially among women and young people. This is because many women have to shoulder more housework and face an increasing risk of domestic violence.

The UN Women in Vietnam overview report on gender equality, published in October 2021, also stated that within 15 months, Covid-19 could reverse the achievements on gender equality that have been achieved. yes, worldwide and in Vietnam.

Because of those grievances, women speak out as a way to relieve them. But according to Ms. Linh Nga, a wife who talks too much often comes with uncontrollable words, making men bored and do not want to go home; find harmful substances such as alcohol, beer, tobacco; even violent behavior towards his wife. Just like that, the wife is more and more frustrated, the family conflict is getting bigger and bigger, forming a vicious circle, leading to a marriage rift.

Experts say that women need to control their emotions, convey a clear and focused message for their husbands to be receptive. When speaking, it is necessary to choose the right time, carefully prepare what to discuss. The wife should not be too picky and perfectionist, so that her husband and children can be comfortable when they come home.

Mr. Hoang Duc said that at first, his wife told him to clean the toilet, but when he came home from work tired, he still rolled up his hands to share. But when he finished, his wife not only discouraged him, but also scolded him for “acting like a cat vomiting”. “I’m angry, I said that if you want to please your eyes, go and do it yourself”, Mr. Duc clarified.

Mr. Hoang Anh Tu noted, men should understand that women still grumbling means still in love. Sometimes they talk too much not because they are inhibited, but simply because they need to interact. Instead of being angry, husbands just need to listen and be happy with their wives, they will naturally calm down. “Men should use prestige, not power, to convince their wives. Uy means prestige, keep your promises to your wife. Men are responsible, women will stop blaming”, Mr. Tu said.

Ms. Thu Quynh has applied to return to work after four years of giving birth and having an epidemic. “I realized that when I have an income and have time to take care of myself, I will be more confident in myself, happier and more comfortable with the people around me,” she reflects.

In fact, there is a long-standing social prejudice that “women are biologically talkative”. Deborah James, an American social psychologist, published 56 research results in a book published in 1993 showing that men are actually more talkative.

Pham Nga