Famous professor: 4 “golden” stages of parenting outstanding children in IQ, EQ and AQ

With more than 40 years of specializing in child psychology, Professor Ly Mai Can is famous for her valuable and meaningful parenting lessons. Accordingly, in the sharing session on “Family education psychology”, the professor pointed out four “golden” stages of parenting that are superior to others, which every parent should know.

Professor Li Mai Can is currently a Professor of Psychology and Deputy Director of the Legal Psychology Professional Committee of the Chinese Psychological Association.

Stage 0 – 3 years old: Nurturing emotions

According to psychological research, from the time a child is born to the age of 3 is a period when children have a huge emotional “need for dependence” on their parents. This is also considered as the “background” stage that plays the role of direct emotional connection between parents and children.

Therefore, at this stage, if a child lacks the love, concern and care of parents, it is easy to form invisible distances between parents and children. Without compensation, it is easy for children to grow up psychologically affected because of lack of love, in addition, it also makes children lack trust in their parents.

It can be seen that from 0 to 3 years old is a very important period for nurturing affection, a strong and deep bond between parents and children. For this reason, Professor Ly Mai Can in sharing sessions on “Family education psychology” always emphasizes that: “In the period of 0-3 years old, parents directly raise children is a good thing. During this process, parents should spend time observing, caring, caring and interacting with their children as much as possible. Actively communicating with their children at this stage is very good for their development. about the child’s EQ later on.”

Stage 4-6 years old: Nurturing character

There is an old saying that goes, “A person’s character determines the path he or she will take in the future”. It can be seen that personality plays an extremely important role in a person’s later development path.

According to Professor Ly Mai Can, a child’s personality is both “innate” and formed by the nurturing process and the surrounding environment.

According to the analysis, by the time children turn 4 years old, children have had obvious changes in psychology and personality. The reason is that at this time, children begin to have their own independent thoughts and perceptions about the world around them. This is also the “golden” period to nurture, teach and shape the children’s character.

In his sharing session, Professor Ly Mai Can said that there are 3 extremely suitable lessons to nurture the personality of their children that every parent should know.

1. The first lesson is to say “no” to your children’s unreasonable requests.

For families with young children, it is extremely familiar for the children to ask or make unreasonable requests. Faced with these requests, parents need to firmly say “no”. Because children at this age make requests to their parents to “explore” their parents’ boundaries.

The child is fussy and repeats his requests to see what is allowed by the parent, what is not allowed and where the parental limits are. If the parents are soft-hearted and agree, the child will continue to make such unreasonable demands in the future. Over time, a bad character will be formed, when the child asks and wants what the parents and the people around him have to fulfill. So gently but firmly say “no” to your child’s unreasonable requests.

2. The second lesson is to teach your children to be polite, to learn how to thank and apologize

Teaching children politeness is an extremely important thing that parents need to teach at this age of 4-6 years. In addition, this is also an appropriate period to teach and let your child understand “thank you” and “sorry” sincerely and in good faith when they make mistakes. Teaching your child these things will foster the child’s character later on to become a responsible, straightforward and polite person.

3. Lesson 3 is to teach children how to control their emotions and “thick face”

Accordingly, Professor Ly Mai Can – who has spent more than 40 years studying child psychology has summarized and given valuable advice to parents, that is, if you want this drunk child to “breathe” more easily. In life, children should be taught how to control their emotions and “thick face” from an early age.

Because teaching children how to control their emotions helps them “sharpen” their impatient ego later, while teaching them to be “thick” helps them raise their AQ and learn how to “reject” other people’s requests. From there, it helps children to have smart and skillful behavior, which is very good for them later when they grow up.

Stage 6 – 12 years old: Fostering personal capacity

According to Professor Ly Mai Can, habits are the “source” of competence, at the age of 6-12 if parents can accompany and form good habits with their children such as reading and studying. , explore and discover… Or teach your child how to self-discipline, that child will grow up to be a smart and talented person.

Besides, with the ability to think, orient and persevere, it will definitely help you to outperform people. These are the advantages that help children easily achieve success in the future. Therefore, when entering this age, parents need to pay special attention and have a way to help their children form good habits so that it is reasonable.

Stage 12 – 18 years old: “Respect Education”

When children start to turn 12, this is the age when puberty tends to “rebellion”. Accordingly, Professor Ly Mai Can still joked that: “When children reach puberty, every word of parents is garbage”.

Because at this age, children already have independent thoughts and views that are different from their parents. Because of not having the same opinion, parents and children at this stage often find it difficult to communicate with each other. Many parents when they see their children “talking not to listen” are often disappointed, even using spanking to teach their children. However, this is not advisable behavior, at this stage, the use of spanking only makes the child become more “rebellious”.

According to Professor Ly Mai, parents need to understand that it is not a bad thing for their children to argue or disobey their parents. This is just a sign that your baby is fully developing and becoming an independent individual. However, because of that, the child’s perspective will be different from the parent’s point of view.

At this stage, what parents need to learn and do is “respect education” with their children. That is, parents need to respect their children’s thoughts and actions, instead of immediately judging and affirming it as “wrong”.

Parents need to stand at their child’s position, and at the same time calmly discuss with their child, so that the child will feel understood and respected, from which he will no longer “ruffle the hedgehog” with his parents. Both sides found a common voice, and I myself understood the value of the two words “respect”. When I respect others, I will also receive the same, which is very useful for my career path and in making friends in the future.

Above are 4 important stages and specific lessons that famous professor Ly Mai Can shared with parents. The right age to learn the right lessons will help children develop fully in both IQ, EQ and AQ. Such children will grow up to have many opportunities to develop and excel.

According to ttvn.toquoc.vn