Pressure because old age has not tasted “forbidden fruit”

Self-deprecating because it’s still… a blank sheet of paper

Nguyen Huu Tien (26 years old, working in Hanoi) shared that even at the age of marriage, Tien has never “have sex”. When he was in college, his friends around him had a girlfriend, and Tien himself loved one person unilaterally and did not dare to confess.

After graduating from school, the girl got married and Tien temporarily forgot about that unrequited love. When he went to work, the first two years of work was not stable, sometimes Tien had to go back to his hometown to work for him, not yet mastering the economy, so Tien did not dare to fall in love.

For the past two years, Tien has had a more stable job and is more confident to find a girlfriend, but has not found anyone suitable. While friends show off their love and conquest of this and that, Tien feels like a blank sheet of paper.

The best friend who lives in the same room changes his partner like a shirt. Around Tien, you guys talk to me about having a very normal sex relationship, but because Tien hasn’t experienced it, he doesn’t know what to say to them.

There was a drinking party, the boys talked about how to conquer and put their girlfriends in bed, they turned to tease Tien “tell him what to do, he knows nothing”. At that time, Tien blushed full of guilt.

It is also rumored that Tien has a problem and dares not taste it forbidden fruit. Tien himself is also pressured because of that. Many times, he was about to drive out, and in his mind came up with a good idea to “take off the cake and pay for it”, but because he was afraid of illness, he drove home again.

24-year-old girl Nguyen Hong N. (Hanoi) also fell into a similar situation.

N. have not tasted”forbidden fruit“Never though N. always claims to have an open mind.

If she has love, she will give her all. However, N. does not understand why no one loves her. She wondered why she wasn’t attractive enough to men. Her friend had someone break up with this man, next week had another man.

Standing among friends who all have boyfriends, girlfriends and have had sex, N. sometimes has low self-esteem because she is not equal to friends, has no experience for sex, she feels lost and lonely.

There are even times when friends meet and gossip that people only talk about it, many people joke that anyone who hasn’t had sex should not listen. Friends also teased that if you haven’t had sex at the age of 24, it’s “dark”, “too old”.

No longer young, so N. is also curious, wants to try it, but reason is always awake. N. that, if the relationship is not certain, she will not step foot in and should not be intimate anytime soon.

According to experts, many young people today are not afraid of sex, they have the concept of “love is sex” like… West. While I am “blind” about knowledge of sexual health and reproductive health.

Doctor Tran Van Phuc, Saint Paul General Hospital (Hanoi) commented: Early sex, before marriage is now quite common, no one considers it a bad thing. Because in fact, the need for sex and sex is like if you are hungry, you have to eat.

However, Dr. Phuc said that in young people 20-25 years old, they have not tasted “forbidden fruit” is normal. The “ripe” period for sex and pregnancy and childbirth is from the age of 25 onwards. That is also the time when you are really mature, knowledgeable enough to have safe sex. Children aged 20-25, if they have not had a partner, or have never had sex, should not be too pressured, guilty, or self-deprecating.

In conversations about sex with students in Hanoi, many young people think that when they fall in love, they will naturally do “that”. But when asked about some basic knowledge such as how to use condoms, the process of conceiving… they were like chickens stuck in their hair, scratching their heads and sitting down.

It is not difficult to see that many young people who have fallen in love are willing to give, regardless of the consequences, but do not fully understand sexual issues, do not have a culture of good behavior in sexual relations.

BS. Tran Van Phuc advises those who are worried about being “unlucky” should not be too pressured, do not need to try as hard as friends. The preparation of knowledge about sex, about how to avoid pregnancy safely… will be better than following the point of view of “have sex” a lot or changing many new “cool”, new mature partners….