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Disagreement with parents when choosing a career

Ms. Tuyet wants her child to major in Education, but she dreams of becoming a screenwriter, causing tension in the family atmosphere when it comes to university admission.

As an English teacher, her husband is a civil servant, so Nguyen Thi Tuyet (Hai Phong) wants to direct her children to work in the state environment.

She repeatedly advised her daughter to follow her mother’s profession and enter the university to major in English Pedagogy. But her daughter Tuyet wants to become a screenwriter with the goal of entering the University of Theater and Cinema.

“I really like to write. I dream of doing breakthrough scripts,” Ngoc – Tuyet’s daughter – shared.

Although knowing her daughter’s desire to pursue art, Tuyet and her husband insisted on stopping. They think that this profession is difficult, in the hundreds of people, only a few are famous. The family has never had anyone work in this field, so there is almost no support.

Many times of counseling, from gentle kindness to harshness, but the daughter still did not give up her dream, she and her husband became more upset. The frequency of quarrels in the family is increasing.

“My wife and I are ordinary civil servants, so we just want our children to have a stable job. This may be just a temporary passion because the child has no experience. Let’s just go, what about unemployment later?”, Tuyet is worried. The mother still stands, trying to advise her child.

Grade 12 students at Thanh Nhan High School, Ho Chi Minh City review for the high school graduation exam.  Photo: Thu Huong

Grade 12 students at Thanh Nhan High School, Ho Chi Minh City review for the high school graduation exam. Image: Thu Huong

Unlike Ngoc, Khanh Linh in Quang Ngai received consent from her mother when choosing Tourism, Ho Chi Minh City University of Culture, but was opposed by her father. The father thinks that, when a daughter learns tourism, it will be very difficult because she has to go to many places, when she gets married, she will not have much time to take care of her family.

Linh said that at first, her father directed her to study medicine because many of her family members followed the medical profession. However, realizing that his daughter could not afford to pass this major, he directed her to follow Preschool Pedagogy.

“Dad wants me to do a light job in the future, have a stable income and make sure I have time to take care of my family. Learning to pedagogy doesn’t cost money,” Linh said.

But Linh realized that she was not suitable to be a teacher, due to her lack of patience – an important quality when standing on the podium. The job of a teacher is also not attractive to Linh because of the hard work and low salary.

Many times explaining and convincing her father, but he was not accepted, the female student still decided to enroll in the tourism industry.

The disagreement between parents and children in choosing a profession, profession and school is a common issue raised in career orientation sessions.. Master Nguyen Hai Truong An, Director of the Center for Communication and Admissions Counseling (Ho Chi Minh City University of Economics and Law), said that 70% of parents who attended counseling sessions said they disagreed with choosing a career. of children. While many students even sobbed at career events because of their lack of support from their parents.

Master Tran Nam – Head of the Department of Communication and Corporate Relations, University of Social Sciences and Humanities, Vietnam National University, Ho Chi Minh City – said that many parents still claim not to provide tuition fees, forcing their children to stay in their hometowns. get married if they refuse to study the profession or profession of their choice.

Conflict of opinion can happen with any profession, but it is more common with new, trendy or creative industries, art… which is very popular with young people today, but making parents concerned about safety and stability. Many 12th graders are destined by their families to follow traditional professions such as doctors, engineers, teachers, accountants, etc.

“I feel like I’m depressed when my parents don’t understand. I want to do brand communication, organize events, but I was forced to study electronics or mechanics by adults,” said Minh Ha, a student in Thu Duc City.

According to experts, the difference in perception and conception of the profession is the most difficult cause to reconcile. In addition, there are many reasons leading to this situation such as ego is too high on both sides; parental imposition, lack of communication and mutual listening between parents and children…

In that context, Mr. Tran Nam said that disagreements on how to choose a career between parents and children are not easy to resolve because both sides lack information on career guidance and the labor market.

A survey by the Center for Forecasting Human Needs and Labor Market Information in Ho Chi Minh City in 2019 also showed that about 60% of students chose the wrong major, 75% lacked understanding about the chosen profession.

Due to the lack of early and proper career guidance, instead of choosing a career according to the capacity, interests and needs of the market, students mostly choose jobs according to trends, without comprehensive consideration. Parents do not have the opportunity to access complete information about the market and human resource needs of each profession, so they often rely on conservative notions and prefer traditional occupations.

While many students have not been able to find common ground with their parents, some have convinced their families after a period of disagreement. Nguyen Minh Hieu, Hai Phong city is oriented to medical industry or international economy. However, with a passion for technology, Hieu wants to choose Information Technology, Hanoi University of Industry.

To protect his dream, Hieu convinced his parents with his understanding of the context and potential of the Information Technology industry in the 4.0 era. Hieu is confident that studying this major will get a good job with high salary, not inferior to medicine or economics. “At first, my parents were against it, but then they listened, understood and respected my decision,” Hieu said.

Assoc. Dr. Tran Thanh Nam – Dean of Faculty, Educational Sciences, University of Education, Vietnam National University, Hanoi – in a recent consulting program, gave Five principles of choosing a career for students: Only choose a career that matches your interests; Do not choose a profession that is not eligible; Only choose when fully understanding about the profession (conditions, environment, nature, difficulties, challenges…); Do not choose a profession that society no longer needs; Choose a career that meets the values ​​that you consider important.

Meanwhile, Master Tran Nam said that parents should listen, respect and trust more in their children. “Parents cannot learn for their children. It is the children who are happy to choose and experience their favorite study and career,” said Mr. Nam.

Thu Huong

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