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Dr. Vu Thu Huong talks about the controversy “daughter is father’s previous life lover”

Recently, the old saying of actor Cao Thai Ha in a talk show was “digged” again: “Dad, maybe in my previous life, you and I were lovers… I hope that in my next life I won’t have three children anymore, let’s be husband and wife, so that their love can be more sublimated”. This saying makes many people allergic because the father-son relationship is a sacred feeling that cannot be compared with the relationship between husband and wife.

At the same time, “king of koi fish” Thang Ngo posted a photo taken with his newlywed wife, singer Ha Thanh Xuan, with the caption: “Daughter in a previous life”.

That is why many people are dissatisfied with the saying that many people often mention as a habit when a daughter is attached to her father.

Here is the opinion of the Doctor of Education Vu Thu Huong…

Controversy over

Cao Thai Ha with “old blasphemy”, before the opinion of the public, had to apologize.


– When recently actor Cao Thai Ha’s statement was repeated saying “I hope that in my next life I don’t have three children anymore, let’s be husband and wife, so that their love can be more sublimated”.

Next, the “king of koi fish” called his wife “the daughter of a previous life”, the public felt discontented. It is thought that this saying is not good at all, even it can cause misunderstandings, distorted thoughts, and distortions in the perception of many people. As a doctor of education, how do you see this saying?

In my opinion, the father is the father, the son is the son. If this sentence is correct, the family has 4 daughters, how many lovers did the father have in his previous life? In fact, father and son are 2 different generations, 2 different views, 2 different ways of life. There are many father and son couples who cannot talk to each other because of disagreements. Between them exists a love of blood and blood, I respect my father, my father loves me.

Controversy over

“If this sentence is correct, the family has 4 daughters, how many lovers did the father have in his previous life?” – Dr. Vu Thu Huong.

If you think in the wrong direction as the saying “father was a lover in a past life”, then you really underestimate the once-in-a-lifetime sacred relationship between father and daughter.

If we use this expression, we will not see the emotion appearing on the sentence, but also make the repulsion lingering, sometimes haunting the father-son relationship. Using it is even more bizarre.

– Actually, this saying has been controversial on social media for a long time and has not come to a consensus. In your opinion, is this a saying that should be “removed” or “condemned”, to avoid the bad consequences that can come from thinking to acting from adults to children?

This saying is a recent form of word of mouth. In the past, in Vietnam, we had a lot of good folk songs and proverbs, but now we often make up strange sayings. It can be as obscure or misleading or offensive as this quote. Some are meaningless. There are also good sayings, but quite few. Reality proves, we don’t need to “remove” but only need less and less people to use it, at a certain stage, it will fall into oblivion.

After the recent scandals, we also clearly see the objection of this saying, so there will certainly be less people using it.

With children, we don’t necessarily ban or “remove” the bad things around them, but we need to point out what’s not so good in them so that they can distinguish between good and bad. “Remove” is not necessarily “remove”, and when we don’t pay attention, it doesn’t exist in our lives.

Like in my family, I never say this at all. Therefore, my child does not think much. When she grew up, she knew how to consider it, she only once said “I think this sentence is very stupid”, that’s all.

– Many people have mentioned the dangerous consequences of “pedophilia” from this familiar-sounding saying…

I think we also don’t need to analyze a sentence too closely. Although, I also have to admit that this quote evokes a very impure relationship. However, careful analysis of the sentence does not do anything. It just makes it very uncomfortable.


– The famous Austrian neurologist and psychologist Sigmund Freud once mentioned that girls tend to be more attached to their fathers than their mothers. But anyway, the husband and wife relationship and the father-son relationship are completely different, don’t you think?

Well, on this alone, I think what Dr. Freud was saying wasn’t quite right. Prefer a son or a daughter more, it depends on the individual. My father has 3 daughters, my father loved my sister when she was young. It’s not so obvious growing up, but there’s always a gap between father and son. That gap is the generation gap, the heterosexual gap. It’s not easy to close such distances to be so close to dad.

My daughter is also closer to her mother than to her father. I am willing to share everything with my mother. Mother and daughter can lie next to each other, cross-continental trade. But with my father, I only said moderation.

I myself am a person who prefers girls over boys. Therefore, I am always extremely happy because I have given birth to a daughter, not sad because I do not have a son like some mothers.

Controversy over

“Even at a young age, a daughter and father need a distance when taking care and living together,” said Dr. Vu Thu Huong.


– As a senior in education, as a mother, as a woman, have you encountered any “awkward” situations and stories caused by this statement?

I think, perhaps we haven’t forgotten, the abuse rate from the biological father is close to 1%. It’s not right to say awkward, but to be precise, there’s nothing more painful. Touching such great pain of child victims is cruel. Therefore, I think, we should forget this saying as soon as possible.

– The relationship between father and daughter is a sacred relationship, but in your opinion, what special limit should the closeness or touching between father and daughter always need?

Father and son have generation gap, gender gap. Even at a young age, a daughter and a father need a distance when caring for and living together.

I often advise parents that the care and sex education of a daughter should be for the mother, that of a son should be for the father.

The clarity in family relationships also helps the children form the right habits and pure personality. Therefore, we also need to keep this clear distance for our children. moi-quan-he-thieng-lieng-cha-con-ca-doi-co-mot-20220525234227914.chn

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